“The tea party nation announced last week that Sarah Palin will headline what is being called the first national tea party convention in February. It is expected to be the nation’s largest ever gathering of misspelled signs.” – Seth Meyers
“During an interview Tuesday on the ‘Today’ show, Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the couple who crashed the Obama administration’s first state dinner, said the ensuing media firestorm has destroyed everything we worked for, but then they remembered they have never worked for anything.” – Seth Meyers
“It was a busy night at the White House last night. And they had a big party. And during the evening, this is true, President Obama got up and danced with Santa Claus. That happened, yeah. Or as Fox News reported it, ‘Obama dances with old man who makes kid sit on his lap.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Oprah Winfrey will sit down with the Obamas at the White House for an Oprah prime-time Christmas special. For the taping there will be dozens of Secret Service guys, sharp shooters, bomb-sniffing dogs. And of course, Obama will have protection too.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The unemployment numbers came out and even though the unemployment rate went down slightly, seven million fewer people are employed compared to last year. The one positive outcome: seven million fewer people will be subjected to an office Christmas party this year.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Cable giant Comcast this week finalized a deal to acquire control of NBC Universal from General Electric for $6 billion. The final sticking point to the deal was GE convincing Comcast that it’s still 1996.” – Seth Meyers
“Police in Texas seized a shipment of ecstasy pills this week shaped like President Obama’s face. The drug is characterized by a brief powerful high followed by a long, slow comedown.” – Seth Meyers
