“‘Twas the night before Election Day and all through the house, everyone was shouting crap at each other.” – Craig Ferguson
“The final poll before Election Day shows that 55 percent of Americans plan to vote for Republicans, while 40 percent plan to vote for Democrats. I guess Obama is finally going to get that change he was talking about.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Republicans are saying, ‘It’s time for a change.’ And Democrats are saying, ‘Stay the course.’ And Charlie Sheen is saying, ‘Where are my pants?'” – Craig Ferguson
“It seems most experts are predicting that Republicans will win back the House tomorrow. When Americans heard that they were like, ‘Wait, we can win back our houses?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama sent out an e-mail encouraging his supporters to take at least three friends with them to vote. That’s not how people vote — that’s how women go to the bathroom.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I don’t know what Christine O’Donnell stands for, but I’m a late night talk show host, I need her.” –Craig Ferguson
“California will vote on legalizing marijuana on Tuesday. So thousands of stoners will be at the polls saying, “Dude, just pass it … and now let’s go in and vote on Prop 19.” – Jimmy Fallon
