“Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi described President Obama as an African of Arab and Muslim descent. After the speech, Gadhafi was given his own show on Fox News.” – Conan O’Brien
“Moammar Gadhafi said that Libyan protesters were all on drugs, and then he blamed it on Al Qaeda. Now, he’s saying it’s the fault of the teachers unions.” – Jay Leno
“Gadhafi said no sane person would join the protests against him. He then joined the protests against himself.” – Conan O’Brien
“The price of oil is rising because of all the unrest in the Middle East. And the unrest in Wisconsin is causing the price of cheese to go through the roof.” – Jay Leno
“Gas is so expensive now that BP actually started inspecting their oil rigs.” – Jay Leno
“The White House is considering supporting same sex marriage. Experts are attributing the change to shifting public attitudes, recent court cases, and the President catching a recent episode of ‘Glee.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Congratulations to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to Chicago.” – Jay Leno
“Sarah Palin is going to a political conference in India next month. Palin said she’s loved India ever since she saw ‘Hoosiers.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“The White House hosted a concert to celebrate the ‘Motown sound,’ which featured Nick Jonas. Nothing says Motown like a Jonas brother.” – Craig Ferguson
“Facebook has decided to ban a new app that sends you an e-mail when your crush becomes single. So you’ll just have to find out if they’re single the old-fashioned way: by clicking on their Facebook profile 30 or 40 times a day.” – Jimmy Fallon
