Political Irony

“Here’s why Sarah Palin says she won’t be running for president. She says she can be more effective at getting others elected by not running. And I thought, well, that’s true, because in 2008 she got Obama elected.” – David Letterman

“Palin said she could help the country more by not running for president. Today, John McCain said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me that three years ago?'” – Jay Leno

“Sarah Palin is not running for president, but she says she will help other candidates get elected. Yeah, those other candidates are named Barack Obama and Joe Biden.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Last night Sarah Palin released a letter announcing that she will not run for president in 2012. That’s right, Sarah Palin wrote a letter — which explains why her spellcheck had to be given CPR.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Another huge setback for the Obama campaign today. Sarah Palin is not running for President. Couldn’t find her birth certificate.” – Jay Leno

“The economy’s so bad, I was in Central Park today. I saw pigeons feeding old people. To save money we had to fire two writers, so this joke I’m in the middle of right now has no punch line.” – David Letterman

“Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke told a congressional committee that the economic recovery is close to faltering. On the bright side, most Americans won’t be affected because we had no idea there was a recovery.” – Jay Leno

“There’s a bill in Florida to repeal the state ban on dwarf tossing. Is this what Republicans mean when they say they want smaller government?” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A new poll shows only 3 percent strongly approve of the job Congress is doing, with a margin of error of 4 percent, so it’s possible that ‘less than no one’ thinks they’re doing a good job.” – Jay Leno