“President Obama filled out his NCAA tournament bracket. He picked Florida, Indiana, Louisville, and Ohio State to go to the Final Four. Crazy that it’s been four months since the election, and he still needs Florida and Ohio to win.” – Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama filled out his NCAA bracket. He picked Indiana, Louisville, Florida, and Ohio State to reach the Final Four. He had Indiana to win, but Republicans in the House blocked that.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“During his visit to Israel today, President Obama’s limousine broke down after it was mistakenly filled with the wrong fuel. Or as Obama put it: ‘Who the hell filled this thing up with coffee?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“A NASA official told Congress that if a meteor was on track to strike the U.S., Americans should pray. Even Pope Francis was like, ‘That’s your Plan A?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Scientists say they are getting closer to being able to do ‘Jurassic Park’-style cloning of extinct species. Imagine that? Things that were thought to be extinct could be brought back from the dead. So there’s hope for NBC. It could turn around.” – Jay Leno
