“Yesterday at the White House, President Obama met with various leaders of the American Indian tribes. He promised them, ‘If you like your medicine man, you can keep your medicine man’.” – Jay Leno
“According to a new report, over a million Californians are losing their health insurance due to Obamacare. In fact, some are so angry they have already gone back to Mexico.” – Jay Leno
“It seems like everyone’s still pretty upset about this Obamacare website. The Department of Health and Human Services emailed 275,000 Americans, encouraging them to give the Obamacare website another try. Then they said ‘But one at a time, so it doesn’t crash again’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“You know that smiling woman who was featured on the home page of Healthcare.gov? She asked for her picture to be removed after she was cyber-bullied. She’s hiding where nobody can see her – at Healthcare.gov.” – Jay Leno
“On Monday, President Obama paid tribute to America’s oldest living veteran, 107-year-old Richard Overton. Overton credits his longevity to drinking whiskey and smoking 12 cigars every day. Now there’s a health plan we can all get behind.” – Jay Leno
“It turns out that a lot of children could lose their dental insurance under Obamacare. So kids might not be able to go to the dentist. Parents were really upset, while kids said, ‘Four more years! Four more years!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admitted last week to having smoked crack while in office. Since then he has said multiple times that he will not step down. Legally they can’t force him to. The city council held a meeting to vote on whether or not to ask him to resign. That seems very Canadian to me.” – Jimmy Kimmel
