“This week presidential candidate Bernie Sanders introduced a new bill that would make four-year college tuition free. Which was great news, unless you were the student who was just walking out of your graduation.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Bernie Sanders made around $2,000 last year for two speeches and a TV appearance, compared to the $25 million the Clintons made. Making him the first person in history to run for president just because he really needs the money.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I was surprised to hear this. Hillary Clinton’s Super PAC has reportedly been struggling to raise money. It’s gotten so bad, they may have to start reaching out to Americans.” – Seth Meyers
“Chelsea Clinton has written a children’s book titled “It’s Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired & Get Going.” It’s a great book to read to your workaholic toddler.” – Seth Meyers
“President Obama, by the way, has set a Guinness World Record as the fastest person to get a million Twitter followers. Obama now has as many followers as the Republicans have presidential candidates.” – Conan O’Brien
“First Lady Michelle Obama has posted an exercise video of her beating up a punching bag. But don’t worry, Vice President Biden is going to be OK.” – Conan O’Brien
“The government released hundreds of documents seized from Osama bin Laden’s compound. Among the items is a job application for al-Qaida. It’s like a regular job application except it asks questions like, ‘Where do you see yourself exploding in the next five years?'” – Jimmy Kimmel
