[Jokes from May 25, 2017]
This NATO summit was a chance for Trump to hobnob with a number of world leaders and flex his diplomatic muscles — sometimes literally. He kind of pushes his way past the prime minister of Montenegro, like a kid cutting the line for the ice cream truck. – Jimmy Kimmel
Meanwhile, Trump continues his trip in Europe. While visiting NATO headquarters today in Brussels, he was caught on camera rudely shoving another world leader out of the way. I mean, is he a president or a bridesmaid positioning to catch the bouquet? – James Corden
During a NATO meeting today, President Trump was seen pushing aside the prime minister of Montenegro so he could move to the front of the group. You’re a world leader, a world leader at a meeting of dignitaries and you act like they just called your number at KFC. – Seth Meyers
Trump tossed that guy aside like one of his ex-wives. – James Corden
President Trump addressed his fellow leaders today, he scolded them for not paying their fair share to support NATO and had one particularly harsh word for those who commit acts of terrorism. “All people who cherish life must unite in finding, exposing, and removing these killers and extremists. And yes, losers. They are losers.” That’ll learn ’em. He’s fighting terrorists the same way he fought Rosie O’Donnell. It doesn’t work. – Jimmy Kimmel
Trump is in Belgium right now, which is six hours ahead of us. He kind of liked that because when he sends a crazy tweet at 3:00 a.m., it looks like a thoughtful post at 9:00 p.m. – Jimmy Fallon
Today, President Trump had lunch with French President Emmanuel Macron, who was just sworn in 11 days ago. Trump was like, “Well, 11 days, you must be on your, like, 50th scandal by now?” – Jimmy Fallon
I’ve been paying such close attention to the travels of Donald Trump, it’s almost like he took me on the trip with him. – Jimmy Kimmel
Former President Obama reportedly received a rock star welcome at an event in Germany today, and President Trump was given a subway mariachi band welcome. – Seth Meyers
A new poll reveals that only 1 in 4 Americans believes President Trump has actually “drained the swamp”. However, 3 out of 4 Americans believe Trump has “peed in the pool”. – Conan O’Brien
Government officials confirmed this afternoon that a person of interest in the FBI’s Russia investigation is Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner. This comes at a bad time, because the Trump administration has just released its budget. Now they must be like, “Oh, we forgot to set aside bail money.” – James Corden
Last night, a Republican congressional candidate named Greg Gianforte apparently body-slammed a reporter. Some Republicans are defending him, saying the body slam wasn’t a big deal — which they might regret in three years when The Rock runs for president. – Jimmy Fallon
The Republican congressional candidate for a special election in Montana yesterday reportedly body-slammed a journalist after he asked a question about the Republican healthcare plan. Now, to be fair, that basically is the Republican healthcare plan. – Seth Meyers
It’s come out that the new Republican healthcare bill will hike premiums by 700 percent for the old and sick. It’s not a good sign that the title of the bill is “Walk It Off, Grandpa.” – Conan O’Brien
A college student in Florida is accused of breaking into a building and changing his grade from an “F” to a “B.” His parents were like, “Really, you can’t even get an ‘A’ when you’re cheating?” – Jimmy Fallon
The FAA is investigating why a drone appeared in the sky during a San Diego Padres game. Authorities have already ruled out the possibility that someone actually wanted to watch a Padres game. – Conan O’Brien
Today, Mark Zuckerberg — who dropped out of Harvard University after his sophomore year — gave a commencement speech to Harvard’s graduating class. Zuckerberg began the speech with, “Hello, suckers”. – Conan O’Brien
A new study from Harvard says you can reduce the risk of a potentially fatal heart condition by eating six bars of chocolate a week. Yeah. It reduces the chance of a heart attack because once you give up being in shape, you have way less stress. – James Corden
A new report recommends that couples who live together should do chores together. And for some couples, everything they do together is a chore. – Seth Meyers
