“Some Tea Party members at the Republican debate cheered the idea of a sick uninsured person being left to die. In fairness, the person in question was one of the moms from ‘Toddlers & Tiaras.’” – Conan O’Brien “During the Tea Party debate, Jon Huntsman said that America’s dependency on foreign oil is like being […]
© Ruben Bolling Conservatives somehow think that loan guarantees for green energy is a bad idea, while directly subsidizing oil companies makes good sense.
“President Obama described himself as an eternal optimist. He then explained that he’s the kind of person that sees the country as ‘half employed.’” – Conan O’Brien “According to a new poll, only 55 percent of Americans think President Obama is intelligent. Yeah, that may not sound impressive, but it’s up 55 percent over the […]
“Did you see all the Republican candidates lined up at the Reagan Library the other night? Didn’t they look like it was part of Disney’s ‘Hall of Never-Will-Be-Presidents.’” – Jay Leno “The biggest applause line of the night was the mere mention that Rick Perry had executed 234 people. Holy fuckballs.” – Jon Stewart “Michele […]
“The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a town council that was outlawing dancing.” – David Letterman “They looked like a board of directors that was lying about poisoning a river.” – David Letterman “Last night at the Republican debate MSNBC put little factoids about the candidates on the screen as they were speaking. […]
“The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but they couldn’t fit all eight of them in the bouncy house.” – Conan O’Brien “The Republican debate was on earlier tonight. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting and sexual dysfunction.” […]
“The NFL season kicks off Thursday night right here on NBC, right after the season finale of President Obama.” – Jay Leno “Obama will give a speech on job growth. I don’t think it will be a big speech.” – Jay Leno “One of President Obama’s speech writers quit his job to pursue his dream […]
© Ruben Bolling Because every story now gets a happy ending.
“For most Americans, Labor Day means a 3-day weekend, but for 9.1 percent of Americans, it’s been a 12-month weekend.” – Jay Leno “After Labor Day, you’re supposed to put away your white clothes. I hope someone tells Moammar Gadhafi it would be bad to wave the white flag today.” – Craig Ferguson “New statistics […]
© Lalo Alcaraz Of course there are bad things to say about Libya, but compared to Iraq?
Quote from a reader of Andrew Sullivan after the Republican debate: Listening to GOP Presidential candidates talk about science is like listening to children talk about sex: They know it exists, they have strong opinions about what it might mean, but they don’t have a clue what it’s actually about.
“Next week, Obama will unveil his new jobs bill. I’m sure that will sail right through.” – David Letterman “‘The White House agreed to move President Obama’s speech from Wednesday to Thursday because the Republicans have a debate scheduled for Wednesday. So the debate that no one is going to watch holds more weight than […]
© Tom Tomorrow This explains everything!
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