“Everyone is asking how this storm is going to affect the election. I think it’s given Obama momentum because of how he handled it. He approached it so differently than Bush; he showed up.” – Bill Maher “Oabma’s been getting bipartisan praise for how he handled the hurricane. Even Fox News tried to praise it. […]
I really like Jon Stewart’s summary of the election and what it should mean for the future, but I fear that Stephen Colbert’s parody of what the Republican reaction will look like may be more accurate:
“The hurricane cleanup seems worse than we thought. President Obama came to New Jersey. Chris Christie invited him to come in, and they put politics aside to get New Jersey up and running as soon as possible. And then they had lunch together and President Obama gained 10 pounds.” – David Letterman “Today Rush Limbaugh […]
“The presidential race continues. Did you forget about that for a few days? Maybe the only good thing about the hurricane is that we forgot about the presidential race.” – David Letterman “Mitt Romney resumed campaigning today. He was visiting those hardest hit by the storm, and that would be swing-state Latinos.” – David Letterman […]
“Everybody’s mind is on Hurricane Sandy. The worst is over. Now people are discussing the cause. Sources say that it was partly caused by global warming. Meanwhile, Fox News said it was caused by two men kissing in Central Park.” – Conan O’Brien “Economic losses could reach $20 billion. And most of that is in […]
Pee Wee Herman gives his endorsement for president. No spoilers here — you’ll just have to read it to find out whom he endorses. But I will reveal his reasoning. The person he endorses is like “delicious frozen custard” and “has the 1.4 percent egg yolk solids needed to run this country.” Of course, “if […]
“The hurricane has interrupted the presidential campaign. Both presidential candidates are taking measures to prepare for Hurricane Sandy. President Obama is staying in Washington to coordinate relief efforts. And Mitt Romney is moving his smaller homes into his larger home.” – Conan O’Brien “Folks back east are feeling the devastating effects of Hurricane Sandy — […]
I hope everyone remembers to set their clocks back, and remembers to vote!
“Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.” – Bill Maher “Are you excited about Halloween? People go out pretending to be something they’re not, looking for handouts. It’s like running for president.” – David Letterman “You know what the […]
© Tom Tomorrow If you just believe hard enough, gosh, anything is possible! History is littered with the carcasses of failed empires that started believing their own PR.
“The debates are over. All that’s left right now is to set up and rig the voting machines.” – David Letterman “According to the latest poll, 80 percent of the people polled are sick and tired of hearing about the latest polls.” – Jay Leno “Studies show that votes cast in the days leading up […]
Some people should know better than to appear on the Colbert Report: Part two of the interview is almost as painful — for Mitch Daniels at least.
Josh Whedon (creator of Buffy, Firefly, The Avengers, etc.) talks about why Mitt Romney is the candidate who will put the US on the path to the Zombie Apocalypse:
“We are very excited to have the president of the United States on the show tonight. As you know, he only does these shows maybe once or twice a week.” – Jay Leno [Leno and Obama] Leno to Obama: “What’s this thing with Trump and you? It’s like me and Letterman. I don’t get it.” […]
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