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Love and Respect

Some quotes from Helen Philpot (of Margaret and Helen):

It’s just so odd that all this hatred and discrimination seems to be emanating from a bunch of Republicans who claim to represent Jesus. Now there is a conundrum. As a Christian politician do you abide by the law of the land and treat others with love and respect or do you follow the teachings of Jesus and treat others with love and respect? Such a dilemma.

If a government is able to show more compassion than your church, maybe you should join another church.

The way I see it, you can use your bible to justify hatred, and you can use the First Amendment to justify your right to express your hatred. Or you could pull your head out of your ass and realize that you pick and choose which bible verse to quote with as much ignorance as you pick and choose which Republican Presidential Candidate to nominate.


Gay Wedding Advice!

Key & Peele have graciously shared some gay wedding advice. After all, it is a very real possibility that anyone can now get invited to a gay wedding.

Inquiring people want to know! What will happen at it? How should you behave?



Tom Tomorrow
© Tom Tomorrow

Part of me (a rather small part) actually wants the upcoming presidential election to be between a Clinton and a Bush. Holy deja vu Batman!

I have a question for readers. Leave your answers in the comments. Assume for a (brief) moment that the next president had to be picked from one of the Republican candidates — a long list, which now includes Chris Christie, John Kasich, and Scott Walker, along with Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz, Carly Fiorina, Lindsey Graham, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, George Pataki, Rand Paul, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, and Donald Trump. Which one would you pick, and why? Note that I am explicitly not allowing you to pick a GOP candidate because they would be easy to defeat by your favorite candidate from another party — assume for a moment that the GOP will win this election. No fair voting for a box of rocks.

Bonus points: predict who you think will actually win the Republican nomination. I’m willing to go out on a limb with this question and state that I think John Kasich will win the nomination — but for Vice President.

UPDATE: Jim Webb has just announced his candidacy for president. I think Clinton has found her running mate, and he’s somebody who served under Reagan!


Late Night Political Humor

“Jeb Bush is here tonight, fresh off his announcement that he’s running for president. We were also going to have Donald Trump as well, but last time we checked he was still giving his speech.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Did you see Donald Trump’s big announcement today? Trump is very confident. He could be the only presidential candidate to ever pick himself as a running mate.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump announced today that he is running for president. And based on the amount of bronzer he uses, he’s also running for president of the Spokane NAACP.” – Seth Meyers

“Trump is running for president and he’s wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush’s birth certificate.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Due to Donald Trump entering the presidential race, season 15 of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ will not air. But don’t worry. With Trump running for president, you’ll still get to see an irrelevant B-list celebrity not get a job.” – Conan O’Brien

“A lot of people aren’t taking Trump seriously. But the fact of the matter is, when Donald Trump makes an announcement, people listen — because he’s shouting. You have no choice but to listen.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump said, ‘The American dream is dead.’ All right, well, it’s not exactly ‘Hope and change,’ but it’s a slogan.” – Jimmy Kimmel


The Crankiness of Scalia

Scalia seems to have had a very bad day.
He didn’t get things to go his way.
But that’s ok because Jon is here,
To humorously make the hypocrisy clear.

As Stewart explains it, “I think we found Scalia’s tell. The Crankiness of Scalia’s insults runs inverse to his intellectual consistency.”


The Dark Cloud Inside the Silver Lining?

The article “Please Don’t Make Me Get Gay Married” is not about gays forcing their agenda on straight people. In fact, quite the opposite. It raises a down side to the recent Supreme Court decision legalizing same sex marriage everywhere. It is a problem straight people have had to put up with for years, but will now apply to same sex couples as well.

The problem is, not all couples want to get married. In the past, only straight couples were subject to the incessant questions. Like “When are you going to get married?”, “Wouldn’t it make your parents happy?”, even “Are you planning on having kids?”.

Gays were automatically exempt from these questions when gay marriage was illegal. Even after some states made it legal, gay couples could use the excuse that it wasn’t legal everywhere, so it would complicate things and may even offend some people.

But no more. Like straights, gay couples now have the choice of whether to get married, and at least some of them will decide they don’t want to.

The author of the article, a gay man in a committed relationship, felt compelled to post to Facebook “Christian and I are happy to announce that with today’s historic decision we have decided to continue being legally unmarried forever.” A straight friend quickly replied “It brings a tear to my eye that you’ll now finally have the right to constantly defend the decision not to get married, just like straight couples have been able to do for forever.”

Around ten years ago, filmmaker John Waters said in a talk “Back when I was young the best thing about being gay was that you didn’t have to get married, have kids, or serve in the military. Now we’re fighting for all three.”

Be careful what you ask for. You might just get it!


Parting Irony

The founder of the hateful anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church, Fred Phelps, died last year. One of his 13 children, Nate Phelps (who became an outspoken critic of the church after he left it in 1980) posted this message to Twitter after the Supreme Court decision legalizing same sex marriage:

Nathan Phelps

Nate also offered to officiate at any same sex weddings.

Maybe he has a point. Perhaps people were so appalled by the horrific antics of the WBC that they reacted with sympathy to the gay cause. Or maybe their antics prompted this as punishment from an angry God. Mysterious ways and all that.


Late Night Political Humor

“How about this woman Rachel Dolezal in Spokane, Washington? She was president of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP but was exposed as a white woman who was pretending to be black. A lot of people are upset, especially her white friends who thought they had at least one black friend.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Former Spokane NAACP president Rachel Dolezal said today that she doesn’t think of herself as a con artist. Of course, she also doesn’t think of herself as a white lady, but she is.” – Seth Meyers

“Rachel Dolezal, the white woman pretending to be African American, has resigned from her position in the NAACP. She was last spotted walking out of the NAACP offices with a box full of her Coldplay CDs.” – Conan O’Brien

“Rachel Dolezal stepped down from her position as president of an NAACP chapter after it was revealed that she was a white woman pretending to be black. Now her brother says he knew about it but she asked him not to blow her cover. Unfortunately, her cover had already been blown by God when he made her a blond-haired, blue-eyed white lady.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday Rachel Dolezal, the white NAACP leader who said she is black, claimed there’s no biological proof that she’s white. However, today that was disproven by scientists who found wine cooler in her bloodstream.” – Conan O’Brien

“Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP president in Spokane, was exposed for pretending to be black after her parents showed her Montana birth certificate and said that she is white. Though everyone else said, ‘Yeah, yeah, we got it at Montana birth certificate.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“It was a beautiful weekend in New York. This is how nice the weather was: I went outside without sunscreen for about an hour, and I was elected to run the Spokane NAACP.” – Seth Meyers


Playing the Gay Card

Three time former GOP presidential candidate Alan Keyes is delusional.

On TV a few days ago, Keyes said that he does not believe the shooting in a black church by a white supremacist was racially motivated. Seriously. Despite the statements of witnesses or the fact that the shooter himself published a racist manifesto online. Keyes says that the “storyline” about racism being the motivation for the multiple shooting was “fabricated without much regard for the facts” and attacked people who sought to “play the race card” in the wake of the shooting.

And then he played the gay card. Keyes actually suggested that the shooter was committing a terrorist act on behalf of gay rights and against churches who oppose gay marriage. Keyes speculated that the shooter may have been trying to terrorize people who oppose “the destruction of traditional marriage.”

I know this is hard to believe, but you can watch Keyes say it himself:

Keyes also claims that any animosity he has faced because he is black “pales in comparison to the animosity I have encountered based on my Christian faith”. The only explanation I can come up with is that he faces animosity because he says really stupid and annoying things about his religion. Maybe he should shut up.


The Real Colbert

Stephen Colbert (the real one, not the fake conservative) makes fun of the Supreme Court:

UPDATE: Hey, never let it be said that we aren’t “fair and balanced”. Here’s Bill O’Reilly’s response to Colbert on Fox News:

Colbert has said that he modeled his conservative persona on Bill O’Reilly, so is O’Reilly a bit miffed now that Colbert has abandoned that to star on the Late Show?

I’m getting tired of the lie that freedom of religion means that people can do anything they want as long as it is their deeply held religious belief. The same stupid excuse was used against the civil rights of blacks. If a baker refused to sell a wedding cake to a black person (or to a white person, when the cake was going to be used in an interracial marriage), would O’Reilly be so quick to tell the government to leave the baker alone?


Late Night Political Humor

“There are reports that Hillary Clinton’s campaign is saving money by encouraging staffers to take discounted buses between New York and Washington. Not to be outdone, Bernie Sanders is actually Fed-Exing himself to every speech.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton has released a 14-song Spotify playlist to go along with her 2016 campaign. The weird part, though, is that it’s just ‘Eye of the Tiger’ 14 times.” – Seth Meyers

“Bernie Sanders told reporters that his campaign will have plenty of money to compete for the Democratic nomination. Then he said, while writing down an order, ‘And I’ll be right back with your pancakes.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today Jeb Bush announced he’s running for president on Snapchat. By using Snapchat, Bush’s message will disappear after 10 seconds just like the excitement over his campaign.” – Conan O’Brien

“Many lawmakers on Capitol Hill wore seersucker suits to work yesterday, in honor of National Seersucker Day. In a related story, ISIS is still a huge problem, you guys.” – Jimmy Fallon


Having a Gay Time!


Liberty and Justice



Online comments


Justice Scalia is Not Happy

One might even say that he isn’t very gay.

It was bad enough yesterday when the Supreme Court deflected a challenge to Obamacare (over his vigorous dissent), but today it legalized same-sex marriage in the whole country. In Scalia’s dissent to the gay marriage ruling, he quoted from the majority opinion and gave his version of sound legal advice:

Scalia dissents

Fortunately, history has passed Scalia by. Gay marriage is no threat to our country (it is a boon), and hippies haven’t been called that for a very long time. The new theory is that “Scalia has been a secret goth this whole time”.


A Climate for Evolution?

I’ve been concerned about all the money being donated by the Koch brothers to prestigious museums to influence their exhibits, but now we know what Science on Koch looks like. A reader [thanks Jay!] sent me this photo they took at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History:

Climate Change on Koch

So climate change was a good thing that helped us evolve into modern humans? I just hope that the current round of climate change (and resulting mass extinction), which we are unleashing on ourselves, makes way for a smarter species that doesn’t shit all over its own home.


Late Night Political Humor

“According to a new survey, Lord Voldemort from ‘Harry Potter’ actually has a higher favorability rating than most GOP presidential candidates. Or in other words, ‘He who must not be named’ is more popular than ‘He whose name I forgot’ and ‘What’s her face’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Republican candidate Carly Fiorina said that if she becomes president she wants people to be able to take out their phones and vote on ideas during her speeches. Which worked out well for people who already had their phones out during Carly Fiorina’s speeches.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Presidential hopeful Rand Paul warned the media today that if anyone is mean to his wife during the campaign, they’ll have to answer to him. And Hillary Clinton said that if anyone is mean to Bill, that’s totally fine.” – Seth Meyers

“Olympic figure skater Michelle Kwan is now a full-time paid staffer on Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. While Tonya Harding was hired to take care of any other Democrats who enter the race.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Vladimir Putin traveled to Italy to meet with Pope Francis yesterday. They say Putin should be done with confession by sometime next fall.” – Jimmy Fallon