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The Dark Cloud Inside the Silver Lining?

The article “Please Don’t Make Me Get Gay Married” is not about gays forcing their agenda on straight people. In fact, quite the opposite. It raises a down side to the recent Supreme Court decision legalizing same sex marriage everywhere. It is a problem straight people have had to put up with for years, but will now apply to same sex couples as well.

The problem is, not all couples want to get married. In the past, only straight couples were subject to the incessant questions. Like “When are you going to get married?”, “Wouldn’t it make your parents happy?”, even “Are you planning on having kids?”.

Gays were automatically exempt from these questions when gay marriage was illegal. Even after some states made it legal, gay couples could use the excuse that it wasn’t legal everywhere, so it would complicate things and may even offend some people.

But no more. Like straights, gay couples now have the choice of whether to get married, and at least some of them will decide they don’t want to.

The author of the article, a gay man in a committed relationship, felt compelled to post to Facebook “Christian and I are happy to announce that with today’s historic decision we have decided to continue being legally unmarried forever.” A straight friend quickly replied “It brings a tear to my eye that you’ll now finally have the right to constantly defend the decision not to get married, just like straight couples have been able to do for forever.”

Around ten years ago, filmmaker John Waters said in a talk “Back when I was young the best thing about being gay was that you didn’t have to get married, have kids, or serve in the military. Now we’re fighting for all three.”

Be careful what you ask for. You might just get it!

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Parting Irony

The founder of the hateful anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church, Fred Phelps, died last year. One of his 13 children, Nate Phelps (who became an outspoken critic of the church after he left it in 1980) posted this message to Twitter after the Supreme Court decision legalizing same sex marriage:

Nathan Phelps

Nate also offered to officiate at any same sex weddings.

Maybe he has a point. Perhaps people were so appalled by the horrific antics of the WBC that they reacted with sympathy to the gay cause. Or maybe their antics prompted this as punishment from an angry God. Mysterious ways and all that.

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Late Night Political Humor

“How about this woman Rachel Dolezal in Spokane, Washington? She was president of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP but was exposed as a white woman who was pretending to be black. A lot of people are upset, especially her white friends who thought they had at least one black friend.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Former Spokane NAACP president Rachel Dolezal said today that she doesn’t think of herself as a con artist. Of course, she also doesn’t think of herself as a white lady, but she is.” – Seth Meyers

“Rachel Dolezal, the white woman pretending to be African American, has resigned from her position in the NAACP. She was last spotted walking out of the NAACP offices with a box full of her Coldplay CDs.” – Conan O’Brien

“Rachel Dolezal stepped down from her position as president of an NAACP chapter after it was revealed that she was a white woman pretending to be black. Now her brother says he knew about it but she asked him not to blow her cover. Unfortunately, her cover had already been blown by God when he made her a blond-haired, blue-eyed white lady.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday Rachel Dolezal, the white NAACP leader who said she is black, claimed there’s no biological proof that she’s white. However, today that was disproven by scientists who found wine cooler in her bloodstream.” – Conan O’Brien

“Rachel Dolezal, the NAACP president in Spokane, was exposed for pretending to be black after her parents showed her Montana birth certificate and said that she is white. Though everyone else said, ‘Yeah, yeah, we got it at Montana birth certificate.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“It was a beautiful weekend in New York. This is how nice the weather was: I went outside without sunscreen for about an hour, and I was elected to run the Spokane NAACP.” – Seth Meyers

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Playing the Gay Card

Three time former GOP presidential candidate Alan Keyes is delusional.

On TV a few days ago, Keyes said that he does not believe the shooting in a black church by a white supremacist was racially motivated. Seriously. Despite the statements of witnesses or the fact that the shooter himself published a racist manifesto online. Keyes says that the “storyline” about racism being the motivation for the multiple shooting was “fabricated without much regard for the facts” and attacked people who sought to “play the race card” in the wake of the shooting.

And then he played the gay card. Keyes actually suggested that the shooter was committing a terrorist act on behalf of gay rights and against churches who oppose gay marriage. Keyes speculated that the shooter may have been trying to terrorize people who oppose “the destruction of traditional marriage.”

I know this is hard to believe, but you can watch Keyes say it himself:

Keyes also claims that any animosity he has faced because he is black “pales in comparison to the animosity I have encountered based on my Christian faith”. The only explanation I can come up with is that he faces animosity because he says really stupid and annoying things about his religion. Maybe he should shut up.

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The Real Colbert

Stephen Colbert (the real one, not the fake conservative) makes fun of the Supreme Court:

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Late Night Political Humor

“There are reports that Hillary Clinton’s campaign is saving money by encouraging staffers to take discounted buses between New York and Washington. Not to be outdone, Bernie Sanders is actually Fed-Exing himself to every speech.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton has released a 14-song Spotify playlist to go along with her 2016 campaign. The weird part, though, is that it’s just ‘Eye of the Tiger’ 14 times.” – Seth Meyers

“Bernie Sanders told reporters that his campaign will have plenty of money to compete for the Democratic nomination. Then he said, while writing down an order, ‘And I’ll be right back with your pancakes.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Today Jeb Bush announced he’s running for president on Snapchat. By using Snapchat, Bush’s message will disappear after 10 seconds just like the excitement over his campaign.” – Conan O’Brien

“Many lawmakers on Capitol Hill wore seersucker suits to work yesterday, in honor of National Seersucker Day. In a related story, ISIS is still a huge problem, you guys.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Having a Gay Time!

supreme-court-its-time

Liberty and Justice

keep-calm-marry-on

gervais-same-sex-marriage-privilege

Online comments

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Justice Scalia is Not Happy

One might even say that he isn’t very gay.

It was bad enough yesterday when the Supreme Court deflected a challenge to Obamacare (over his vigorous dissent), but today it legalized same-sex marriage in the whole country. In Scalia’s dissent to the gay marriage ruling, he quoted from the majority opinion and gave his version of sound legal advice:

Scalia dissents

Fortunately, history has passed Scalia by. Gay marriage is no threat to our country (it is a boon), and hippies haven’t been called that for a very long time. The new theory is that “Scalia has been a secret goth this whole time”.

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A Climate for Evolution?

I’ve been concerned about all the money being donated by the Koch brothers to prestigious museums to influence their exhibits, but now we know what Science on Koch looks like. A reader [thanks Jay!] sent me this photo they took at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History:

Climate Change on Koch

So climate change was a good thing that helped us evolve into modern humans? I just hope that the current round of climate change (and resulting mass extinction), which we are unleashing on ourselves, makes way for a smarter species that doesn’t shit all over its own home.

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Late Night Political Humor

“According to a new survey, Lord Voldemort from ‘Harry Potter’ actually has a higher favorability rating than most GOP presidential candidates. Or in other words, ‘He who must not be named’ is more popular than ‘He whose name I forgot’ and ‘What’s her face’.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Republican candidate Carly Fiorina said that if she becomes president she wants people to be able to take out their phones and vote on ideas during her speeches. Which worked out well for people who already had their phones out during Carly Fiorina’s speeches.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Presidential hopeful Rand Paul warned the media today that if anyone is mean to his wife during the campaign, they’ll have to answer to him. And Hillary Clinton said that if anyone is mean to Bill, that’s totally fine.” – Seth Meyers

“Olympic figure skater Michelle Kwan is now a full-time paid staffer on Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. While Tonya Harding was hired to take care of any other Democrats who enter the race.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Vladimir Putin traveled to Italy to meet with Pope Francis yesterday. They say Putin should be done with confession by sometime next fall.” – Jimmy Fallon

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It’s Alive!

Obamacare survives its second court challenge, and it wasn’t even close. By 6-3, the Supreme Court sided with Obama that federal subsidies are legal. Although Republicans spoke angrily about the decision, they would have been in quite a pickle if the case against the ACA had won. Millions of Americans would have lost their health insurance subsidies, and they would have blamed the Republicans for it.

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Flag this Error

Ann Coulter proved in just one sentence that she is not just hateful, but ignorant. Appearing on Fox Business Network, Coulter talked about efforts to take down the Confederate flag from the South Carolina state capitol, efforts that are supported by the South Carolina governor, Nikki Haley.

I’m appalled by––though, I really like to like Nikki Haley since she is a Republican. On the other hand, she is an immigrant and does not understand America’s history.

Three interesting points. First, Coulter decides who to like based on their political party? Second, immigrants can’t understand history? And third, Nikki Haley was born in South Carolina. She is not an immigrant (although her parents are).

Added bonus factoids: Apparently Confederate flag sales at Amazon are up 2,305%. The Confederate flag is now outselling the US flag (just before the 4th of July!). Amazon has announced that they are pulling all Confederate merchandise, as are Walmart and Sears.

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Trumps Me!

Matt Lubchansky
© Matt Lubchansky

What an amazing political system we have. Rich people competing to be elected. Other rich people giving money to them to run for office. Rich pundit people on TV telling us who to vote for and judging how “serious” the candidates are by how much money they can raise from other rich people.

It’s rich, I tell ya!

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Late Night Political Humor

“What a game last night. The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Golden State Warriors to take a 2-1 lead in the NBA Finals. The next time you’ll see someone fighting this hard for Ohio won’t be until next year’s presidential election.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Jeb Bush is taking his presidential campaign on a tour of Europe. He’s telling Europeans, ‘I like you guys because you’re comfortable having the same family in charge for centuries.'” – Conan O”Brien

“Hillary Clinton has joined Instagram. Meanwhile, her Democratic opponent Bernie Sanders joined telegram.” – Seth Meyers

“Hillary Clinton joined Instagram this afternoon and somehow she’s already deleted thousands of photos.” – Seth Meyers

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Catholic in Name Only

Republicans successfully purged moderates from their party by saying that they were RINO — Republicans in Name Only. But now we are seeing something truly amazing — conservatives who profess to be Catholics attacking Pope Francis and calling him names, because he issued a papal encyclical on climate change that calls on us to reject rampant greed and treat our God-given planet with more respect. How dare he!

My favorite, although almost incomprehensible, comes from professional political candidate Alan Keyes, who while claiming to be a Catholic, attacks the the Pope, saying that he looks more like Marx, Stalin, or Mao Zedong, and claims that Francis is exploiting the issue of man-made climate change as “an excuse to advance a totalitarian agenda for the use or abuse of government power throughout the world.” Keyes goes on to repeat the misinformation about climate change that “the facts have not been thus established. In fact much that has come to light supports the view that scientific data were purposely skewed to support a conclusion contrary to fact.” The best part (hold on tight) is “But if the climate change allegations against humanity are unproven, the whole push for totalitarian government remediation of the allegedly terrible damage we are inflicting on God’s creation is a slander against the human race, a sin against humanity being committed as a pretext for the rape of human life, human conscience and God-endowed human liberty.” Wow.

The right-wing noise machine was even worse. Rush Limbaugh says that the encyclical “seems to confirm” that Pope Francis is a “Marxist”. He also called the encyclical “The Pope’s Leaked Marxist Climate Rant”.

Michael Savage was even blunter, saying “The Pope is a Marxist. I stand by those words. He is a wolf in pope’s clothing, he is an eco-wolf in pope’s clothing. He is a stealth Marxist in religious garb.” He also said “He sounds like the false prophet in revelation … directing mankind to worship the Antichrist.”

Fox Business News warned that Pope Francis and President Obama are forming “a policy alliance” and are “a powerful force, a very powerful force, pushing left.” He then asked: “Will Francis and Barack reshape the world by taxing the rich, taxing fossil fuels, and redistributing the wealth? That’s exactly what they are trying to do.”

Have any of these people calling the Pope a Marxist read anything in the Bible about Jesus Christ?

And of course, Republican presidential candidates are getting into the act. Jeb Bush, who also claims to be Catholic, suggested that the Pope should butt out of political issues. Rick Santorum, a self-professed devout Catholic, slammed Pope Francis for getting “involved with controversial political and scientific theories.” (Santorum, of course, doesn’t mind making religious issues like gay rights into political issues).

The “religious right” has shown their true colors. They worship only money and greed.

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