“President Obama insisted that the U.S. economy is still showing improvement. And he said you can take that to the bank, if you can find any that are still open.” – Jay Leno
“Newt Gingrich said President Obama is out of touch with how the world works. Then Gingrich was like, ‘Hold on, I think someone is faxing me something.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, 41 of President Obama’s staffers now owe the government more than $831,000 in back taxes. When asked if they could just keep avoiding taxes, they said, ‘Yes we can! Yes we can!'” – Jay Leno
“There was a lot of talk about President Obama not wearing his wedding ring during his press conference on Friday. Boy, the guy spends a couple of hours with Tiger Woods and look what happens.” – Jay Leno
“It’s a great day for the leader of the free world. Of course, I’m talking about Oprah.” – Craig Ferguson
“Oprah had a huge surprise for her audience. First, she burned the Koran. Then she announced that she’s taking the audience on a trip.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The government announced today a $60 billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia, the biggest in our history. We will sell Saudi Arabia F15 fighter jets, Apache and Black Hawk helicopters, and many other weapons that will one day be used against us.” – Jay Leno
“There was no Koran burning on Saturday. Apparently that dopey pastor, Terry Jones, decided not to burn the Koran when he realized the only copy he had was on his Kindle.” – Jay Leno
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“The government announced today a $60 billion arms deal with Saudi Arabia, the biggest in our history. We will sell Saudi Arabia F15 fighter jets, Apache and Black Hawk helicopters, and many other weapons that will one day be used against us.” – Jay Leno
With the US record in the middle east, you have to wonder if this is a joke or a early prediction.