“Yesterday, of course, on Fox News commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people.” – Conan O’Brien
“Big kegger at the White House tomorrow. Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. will be there and Sergeant James Crowley will be there, coming over for beer. It’s going to be a crazy night. There will be karaoke with Tim Geithner.” – David Letterman
“Of course, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him to the White House. Reportedly, Obama is going to serve them Budweiser. And in the spirit of racial harmony, Budweiser is changing its nickname from the ‘King of Beers’ to the ‘Martin Luther King of Beers.'” – Conan O’Brien
“Finally, tomorrow, President Obama has his big beer summit with Professor Henry Louis Gates and Sergeant James Crowley. Yeah, that’s a great idea. In my experience, the best way to settle an argument between guys from Boston — just add alcohol.” – Jimmy Fallon
“I believe it’s the first White House kegger, really, since the Bush twins lived there.” – David Letterman
“Everyone’s in kegger spirits. And how can you not be? Hillary Clinton, by the way, is in kegger spirit. She’s going to be serving snacks in a skimpy pantsuit.” – David Letterman
“They were talking to Hillary about it and she is still interested in running for president. She said running for president is not on her radar, not on her radar. Yeah, but she’s still got Bill on LoJack.” – David Letterman
“Yesterday at the White House, President Obama took part in an online Q & A session with a group of senior citizens. The most common question the seniors asked Obama was, ‘What have you done with Eisenhower?'” – Conan O’Brien
“Former Governor Sarah Palin, she’s rumored to be interested in a new career as a talk radio host. It’s a four-hour show but she’ll be gone after two. So, that’s — she says it’s part of her deal.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Of course, you have to remember, radio host is now the most powerful position in the Republican Party. ‘The Morning Drive’ on WQU-Betcha. Should be exciting.” – Jimmy Fallon
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She’ll Be a Shock Jock, Don’tcha Know…
Rumors about Sarah Palin’s future continue to make their rounds, even on the late night circuit: “Former Governor Sarah Palin, she’s rumored to be interested in a new career as a talk radio host. It’s a four-hour show but she’ll……