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An oldie but a goodie

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I then took a shower in the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issed by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to ny house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal’s inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it’s valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on freerepublic and Fox news forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can’t do anything right.

Apparently this has been running around the innertubes since Ronnie Reagan was running for office.



  1. John D Ashe wrote:

    And what is your point? How much of that would have happened as a result of the American people wanting it? Dare I say all of it? Would you believe that in all likelihood, it would be much better if left to the whims of the market. I.e. FEDEX vs USPS. The government can’t do anything and save money. Public school costs almost double what a good private school costs. Let the government do what the Constitution says and stay out of the rest of it. FREEDOM.

    Sunday, September 20, 2009 at 4:01 am | Permalink
  2. Dnono wrote:

    Yo John, Thanks for the extra serving of irony and the side dish of confusing grammar.

    Not really sure which private/public schools are located near you, but the private schools near me are way more costly. Re USPS vs. Fedex, next time you’re completing your online shoppping be sure to check which shipping option is cheapest yet still timely.

    Sunday, September 20, 2009 at 2:20 pm | Permalink
  3. Historian wrote:

    John- I’m sorry, but most of the functions listed here would absolutely not be offered by a private organization. Most of what is listed here is regulatory- not production (the way a health insurance reforms would regulate the health industry, not actually provide care) No private group is going to start up trying to inspect food and drugs of other companies to ensure they are clean.
    Yes, it’s true that FED EX is privately owned and operated, but it competes with the publicly founded USPS and prospers. The insurance industry is so focused on profit, combined with the fact that the customary anti-monopoly laws don’t apply to them, that they claim they could not compete with a government option. They are, in fact, afraid to be left to the whims of the market against competition unwilling to collude.

    Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 11:27 am | Permalink
  4. Donovan wrote:

    Wait… I don’t think Fox News had a forum when Ronald Reagan was in office. We might have had Usenet, but that was different and largely populated by intelligent computer people from universities and whatnot. Though this is exactly their kind of humor.

    Having said that, this is a brilliantly ironic piece of writing and should be distributed as widely as possible, even though wherever I’ve seen it there has always been at least one person who has their facts so wrong that the point goes flying over their head.

    Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 3:08 pm | Permalink
  5. Mark wrote:

    Another point RE the postal service. For 44 cents you can get a letter from the backwoods of Maine to the backwoods of Alaska.

    Door to door. Delivered 6 days a week. Fed Ex? Not.

    Tuesday, October 20, 2009 at 8:49 pm | Permalink
  6. Tomas49ers wrote:

    Other than the name there is nothing FEDERAL about the Federal Reserve Bank. They are a PRIVATE institution.

    Thursday, October 29, 2009 at 1:04 pm | Permalink
  7. Austin wrote:

    Right. The Federal Reserve, created by the Federal Reserve Act of 1913 is private. Check your facts:

    Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 1:19 pm | Permalink
  8. Phil E. Drifter wrote:

    Right, they outlawed naturally growing drugs so Big Pharma could stuff it’s pockets with profit for poorly designed synthetic ones.

    Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 8:05 pm | Permalink
  9. Phil E. Drifter wrote:

    So they could replace outlawed slave labor with prison labor. Read Marc Mauer’s “Race to Incarcerate” or just read :

    “Well, there it was, you didn’t have to look another foot as you went from state to state right on the floor of the state legislature. And so what was the genesis for the early state marijuana laws in the Rocky Mountain and southwestern areas of this country? It wasn’t hostility to the drug, it was hostility to the newly arrived Mexican community that used it.”

    Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 8:07 pm | Permalink
  10. Wetdog128 wrote:

    I’m weary of hearing the word “FREEDOM” bandied about like some new trend in street slang. From the many highly-charged conversations I’ve been having with people of every political inclination that I can imagine, I’m learning that too many Americans have a highly distorted and skewed definition of the concepts represented in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Not only are they worth reading for one’s self, they’re also worth lots and lots of contemplation under the individual’s own abilities. Try turning off the media for the time it takes to do this, and tune out the pop-culture rants.

    Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 6:36 am | Permalink
  11. Win V wrote:

    What you state here are framework regulations (which are authorized by the Constitution) as opposed to out-and-out market competition by the government. There is a huge difference. The govt does and should provide a framework in which businesses can operate. That is the very definition of regulation. However too much regulation can stifle the economy over time(as it did in the 60s and 70s), and not enough can cause horrific results (crash of ’29 and ’07).

    None of the things you specify has anything to do with the confiscation of and/or reallocation of private property. There is a definite demarcation line between public and private property in the Constitution, but the Federal gov’t has been steadily whittling away at the concept of private property. The argument here is quite specious and quite demonstrative of the colossal amount of bad thinking and misunderstanding of fundamental Constitutional and republican (notice the little “r” not a big “R”) ideals.

    Friday, November 6, 2009 at 2:09 pm | Permalink
  12. james wrote:

    WOW,didn’t you just explain why simple regulation by the government works instead of takeover.I’m assuming you have a clue about anything you just said or the agencies you mentioned.Another example of liberals trying to sound intelligent without doing they’re homework.

    Friday, November 6, 2009 at 6:22 pm | Permalink
  13. Jo Crandall wrote:

    I don’t understand how anyone can be a proud patriotic God loving American and not see what an advantage it would be for every American to have adequate access to healthcare?

    Back in the 1800’s, only the wealthy could go to school. Government came along in 1852 and made education mandatory. I’m sure there were those with little kids in their factories that saw this as a bad thing. Bad for profits.

    Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 9:51 pm | Permalink
  14. james shukait wrote:

    its funny i see good jobs going away no more pensions,health care or job security just so companies can make more money,just hearing these benefits called entitlements make me sick do we really want to go back to the to pre 1945 eneryone for themself. leave the old and disabled behind, this country needs a reality check good jobs are the back bone of are country, “if you pay workers a good wage and give them enough leisure time you will expand the middle class and the economy will fix itself”HENRY FORD

    Friday, November 27, 2009 at 12:53 pm | Permalink
  15. ZT wrote:

    Win V,

    You read only what you wanted to, apparently. Police, NASA, NOAA, USPS, Fire Department, Utilities that were cited are decidedly not regulatory in function. They also, because of taxes, relate to confiscation of private property (income) and reallocation. To varying extents, that’s one of the major functions of government. If you look at the trends, there has been a shift towards lower taxes since the seventies, and with the state legislative backlash against the Kelo case, lessened ability to use eminent domain.

    Really, if there’s anything out there that doesn’t work as a pure market, it’s health insurance. The incentives get all screwed up. Most country’s have figured that out. Time for the US to as well.

    Saturday, January 23, 2010 at 4:21 pm | Permalink
  16. Barbara E Bj wrote:

    THIS I share quite willingly! It is an hilarious demonstration of how silly the claims are that we should fear big government and “socialism” or, even MORE IMPORTANT, that we should abolish ALL government. Taking this very old story into account, I wonder what our world would look like if all government really were eliminated as some extreme elements in our country are often so apt to demand as the only right thing to do? And, I wonder if those proponents of elimination of government have given much thought to the effects on their daily lives if the government supplying all of this were ever to really go away?

    Who would pay workers to repave the main roads to everywhere in the short time that they would begin to completely crumble, not to mention everything else that would crumble around them?

    Sunday, October 24, 2010 at 6:50 pm | Permalink
  17. Tab wrote:

    Fox News is owned by Rupert Murdoch who although is an American now was Australian and traditionally (if you read his papers) doesn’t respect Americans. Many (if not all) of his newspapers in Both Australia and the UK are very anti-American. these newspapers talk about Americans the same way that Beck and Hannity talk about Socialists and liberals. The Murdoch formula supports and protects the powerful by the use of scapegoats, misdirection and cover ups.

    Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 6:09 am | Permalink
  18. From Memphis wrote:

    Just FYI….. when you go to the USPS Post Office and order overnight delivery, they contract that out to FedEx to ship it out. I am familiar with this process since my family works for fedex and actually help maintain the fedex–postal service relationship.

    Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 12:34 am | Permalink

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