Political Irony

“In 2012, the Republicans are now talking about the presidential ticket, Dick Cheney and running as vice president Sarah Palin. Talk about your dream ticket. Oh buddy, the comedy recession is over. I mean, come on, talk about your shotgun marriage.” – David Letterman

“There was an article in Vanity Fair that says Sarah Palin — listen to this, this borders on the creepy — that what she was trying to do … was adopt her daughter Bristol’s baby. … Oh yeah, like I’m going to make a joke about this. None of my business. Whatever you want. Live and let live, that’s my motto.” – David Letterman

“But this article is quite an expose. The article claims that Sarah Palin really couldn’t see Russia from her house. The article also says that Sarah Palin was not much of a hunter. And I was thinking, I don’t know, she killed John McCain’s chances.” – David Letterman

“Sarah Palin is making some dough. She’s going around the world speaking. She’s got a gig over in China. She’s very excited because she thinks that China is a red state.” – David Letterman

“Remember the two Asian-American journalists who were held captive in North Korea and rescued by President Clinton. Well, they have finally written about their ordeal. The two of them said they were frightened, mistreated, and violated, and then someone told Clinton to leave them alone.” – Conan O’Brien

“The healthcare debate is getting crazily intense. Yesterday during a healthcare protest, a fight broke out and a man got his finger bitten off. That’s true. No one knows who started it, but there’s been an awful lot of stub pointing.” – Conan O’Brien