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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama made his big healthcare address to a joint session of Congress last night. It went pretty well, except for one weird part in the middle of it, when a congressman from South Carolina suddenly yelled out, ‘You lie!’ It’s amazing this guy was able to sit through seven years of President Bush telling him everything in Iraq is fine without a peep, but last night, he yells out, ‘You lie!'” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I am not getting on Congressman Wilson’s case for disagreeing with the president… Every congressman has a vote, he should use it, but not in the middle of a speech to a joint session of Congress. That’s not what you do. It’s not the Jerry Springer Show. You can’t stand up in the middle of Congress and say ‘Oh no you did not!’ What the hell is wrong with you? He said his emotions got the better of him. Sometimes I want to have sex with a hooker, but I don’t!” – Craig Ferguson

“After Joe Wilson’s outburst, everyone was shocked. Because usually when a politician shoots off his mouth and makes a fool of himself, his name is Joe Biden. But even Vice President Biden said he was embarrassed by Wilson’s behavior. This is Joe Biden we’re talking about. Joe Biden saying it’s embarrassing is like an Australian bartender saying you’ve had too much to drink.” – Craig Ferguson

“Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, also shocked. At least that’s what she said. You can’t tell because her face doesn’t move.” – David Letterman

“During President Obama’s speech, a congressman heckled him. This guy from South Carolina begins to heckle the guy, and I thought, OK, so now Gov. Mark Sanford is the second most embarrassing politician from South Carolina” – David Letterman

“When Wilson yelled ‘you lie’ at the president, I don’t think he handled it very well. The president should go out and hone his material in some comedy clubs and deal with hecklers. Obama should have said, ‘Hey buddy, do I come to your state and knock the wiener out of your governor’s mistress?'” – Craig Ferguson

“Even his fellow Republicans were horrified. He apologized immediately after the speech. He said he was watching ‘Gossip Girl’ on his iPod, and that Blair such a bitch he just couldn’t hold it in.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Even John McCain chastised Wilson for shouting. When you’re McCain’s age, you’re opposed to anything loud.” – Craig Ferguson

“John McCain, here’s a guy who’s seen it all, he was shocked. He said he hasn’t seen anything like this since Aaron Burr heckled Alexander Hamilton.” – David Letterman

“It doesn’t matter what the Congressman thinks about the President’s policies, but he acts like he learned manners in the same place Michael Vick learned about pet care.” – Craig Ferguson

“Barack Obama, of course, is not the first president to have ‘you lie’ yelled at him. Bill Clinton got that all the time, but only from Hillary. And that was only after he came home and told her he lost his pants in a tornado.” – Craig Ferguson

“Back when George Bush was president, Democrats in Congress, to be fair, would occasionally go ‘Boooo!’ But President Bush never took it personally, he just thought Congress was haunted.” – Craig Ferguson

“Republican Congressman Joe Wilson apologized for calling President Obama a liar during his speech on health care. Obama accepted Wilson’s apology, and then invited him to appear before a death panel.” – Conan O’Brien

“During last night’s health care speech, President Obama’s told Republicans that the time for games has passed. Obama had to say that because most Republicans were on their Blackberrys playing Brick Breaker.” – Conan O’Brien

“Everybody is talking about the big health speech last night. In his speech, President Obama said that he will not sign a health-care plan that adds one dime to the Federal deficit. And then he interrupted himself and said, ‘You lie!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Earlier today, he’s still going, President Obama gave another speech about health care. This one to a roomful of nurses. Yeah. Still no word on what Bill Clinton was doing there.” – Conan O’Brien

“The President said that he wants to bring affordable health-care insurance to every American. Joe Biden got really excited. He thought he was finally going to meet the Geico gecko.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Sarah Palin had a big op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal, and she said she’s against death panels. And I thought, ‘Really? She’s the one who pulled the plug on the McCain campaign.'” – David Letterman

“Yesterday, Florida Senator Mel Martinez, the only Hispanic Republican in the Senate, officially stepped down. Yeah. The Republican senator who replaced Martinez thanked him, and then had him deported.” – Conan O’Brien