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Late Night Political Humor

“That’s pretty amazing, isn’t that snowstorm? I mean, President Obama spends one day in Copenhagen, global warming is solved. It is over.” – Jay Leno

“Of course, the storm is the big story, it is unbelievable. It actually paralyzed Washington more than Joe Lieberman. In fact, there was so much white powder in D.C., people thought Marion Barry was mayor again.” – Jay Leno

“Meteorologists are calling this a record blizzard, which makes sense if you think about it. Republicans have always said that the Senate would pass health care when hell freezes over, and apparently, it has!” – Jay Leno

“The Senate’s health care bill is expected to pass on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Because, really, what’s more American than waiting until Christmas Eve to finally wrap something up?” – Jimmy Fallon

“This is big. The Senate is trying to pass health care by Christmas. They had to take a rare vote last night at 1:00 a.m. Yeah, they scheduled it for 1am because that’s when John McCain gets up to pee.” – Conan O’Brien

“Democrats in Congress have scheduled a vote on health care for Christmas Eve. They said, this issue is so important, we’re willing to work even on Christmas Eve. You know, I think that’s great. I like that. I mean, anything that keeps drunk drivers off the road on Christmas Eve, you know, I think that’s terrific.” – Jay Leno

“The health care overhaul will extend coverage to 30 million people who are uninsured, or, as Walmart calls them, employees.” – Jimmy Fallon

“In Washington this week, of course, President Obama is expecting a visit from Santa Claus. Finally, an invited guest at the White House for a change.” – Jay Leno

“I saw this today. President Obama said, ‘The federal government can no longer spend taxpayers’ money like it’s Monopoly money.’ Especially since now, Monopoly money is actually more valuable than the dollar.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Yesterday President Obama said, ‘We can’t continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.’ Oh really — how come all those guys on Wall Street got ‘get out of jail free’ cards?” – Jay Leno

“Over the weekend, the U.S. transferred 12 Guantanamo detainees to their homelands of Afghanistan, Yemen and Somalia. Wait, we’re sending potential terrorists back to Afghanistan? That’s like dropping Roman Polanski off at a Jonas Brothers concert.” – Jimmy Fallon


One Comment

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    Saturday, December 26, 2009 at 10:52 pm | Permalink