Unfortunately there isn’t enough room on that blackboard, because I can think of a whole lot more of these. For example:
Apocalypse = When Democrats pass a bill that is virtually identical to one passed by Mitt Romney, not to mention one Republicans proposed back in 1993
Fascist = What to call someone when you’ve used the word “Socialist” too much
Fiscal Restraint = “Do as I say, not as I do”
Disrespect = Ok when used against Obama, not ok when used against Bush.
I’m sure you can think of some … leave them in the comments!
‘The people’ – Republican voters
as in ‘Against the will of the people’
‘Tyranny’ – keeping election promises
‘Apocalypse’ – for us in the next election
‘My America’ – where only white folk getting elected
Here’s a few that were left on the Reddit comments page for this post (http://www.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/bi8r9/learn_to_speak_republican_comic/):
Healthcare = Nazism
Death Threats = Democrats’ Fault
Real Americans = those who agree with us
Socialism, Communism, Fascism, and Liberalism = the same thing
Vandalism = being a patriot
“Proud American” – Republicans in white sheets crying about losing “their America”
“Freedom of Speech” – used to justify targeting elected officials, or the children and family members of elected officials
“Muslim, foreign-born” = any non-Caucasian president
Perfect! It’s a shame that all sense of rational has been lost throughout what should have been one of the most groundbreaking events in the history of this country. There were far too many scenarios in which this could have served as a win for everyone involved.
‘The people have spoken’ = ‘I don’t know what’s in that bill, but I don’t like it because it’s communist!’
Mandate of the people = Your candidate winning 51% of the vote.
A meaningless vote = The other candidate winning with 52% of the vote.
pro-life = someone who shouts “i hope you die baby killer!” and is usually a proponent of the death penalty, war & unregulated right to bear arms.
(Democrat) death panel = a sit down meeting with a doctor to discuss living wills, hospice, proxy, pain meds, etc.
(Republican) death panel = something Democrats wish they could give to Sarah Palin.
arcane procedure = tactic used by Republicans over 30 times, last in 2006
fiscal responsibility = saying no to a deficit reduction of over $138 billion
environmentalist = a barefoot hippy freak who hates capitalism. (see also: COMMIES)
Socialists: Anyone who’s primary news source is not FOX news.
Marxists: Anyone who’s primary news source is not FOX news.
Nazis: Anyone who’s primary news source is not FOX news.
Tea Party: Those who wish to take back their country from the minority who overwhelmingly won 2008 election.
Satire: When you call someone retarded on right wing radio.
Patriotism: When one heckles the disabled while wearing a flag pin.
The Poor: Those making less than $200,000 a year.
The Most Needy: Those whose primary income is in capitol gains.
Liberal Elitist: Those who’ve read books.
Religion: How god tells us which abortion doctor to kill.
Guns: Probably our last defense against gawt-damn-nazi-liberal-negro-president.
Being ‘For’ Something: Default position until it is politically beneficial to be ‘Against’ something.
Political Correctness: Dog whistling extremists to take up arms against the elected government.
Majority: What Republicans are if no one else is counted.
Extremist: One who goes too far by giving up their Medicare to protest socialism.
Fascism: When a democratically elected government does what it was sent to office to do.
Death Panel: How we scare the elderly into staying ‘on board.’
Waterloo: When a popular policy is passed and implemented.
Oklahoma Federal Building: Proof that our rhetoric can work.
Finance Reform: When we change the branding of the corporations that own us.
Corporations: People in our society who most recently got civil rights.
Pro-life: Saving a baby clean through till birth.
War: Not a big fucking deal.
C-Street: Best little whore house in D.C..
Climate Change: The reason one ‘summers’ in the Hamptons.
Christians: Most persecuted majority in history.
Moving to Costa Rica if healthcare passes: Empty promise
“Americans” = those who agree with us.
Check out Mark Morford on SFGate.com. A bit of a rant on revising history through the use of the language we all hold near and dear: 1984 English.
feminist- a woman who says “no”
James Herne. Yes. In most ways, feminism is that simple, isn’t it?
What is it about the right that attracts these slack jawed, tea-bagging illiterates who pick up their opinions like they’re freebies from the Faux News show bag?
Right wing fundamentalists can be neatly divided into two groups. One group is small. It consists of black-hearted sociopaths and Machiavellian manipulators acting for morally bankrupt corporate and strategic interests, who know exactly what buttons to push to take easy command of the stupid and the greedy.
The other group is large and consists of the stupid and the greedy.
The lies told by Fox News = The truth as perceived by many millions of maniacal morons.
Sadly it is an age old tactic of telling lies long enough and loud enough to make them the truth.
Socialists: Anyone who’s primary news source is not pMSNBC.
Marxists: Anyone who’s primary news source is not pMSNBC.
Nazis: Anyone who’s primary news source is not pMSNBC.
Tea Party: Those who wish to take back their country from the minority who barely won the 2008 election and are hell bent on bankrupting the country.
Satire: When you call someone retarded on Air America or the Keith OlberDouchemann show.
Democratic Patriotism: When the SEIU beats the disabled Ken Gladney while he sells Don’t Tread on Me flags.
The Poor: Those still sitting and wondering where all their “Obama Free Stuff” is?
The Most Needy: Those UBEW and SEIU guys making 150K per year with those great health plans.
Liberal Elitist: Nancy (ShitForBrains) Pelosi and her ilk.
Liberal Religion: How god tells us which abortion is OK for your 13 year old.
Guns: A good thing of you have them, not so good if you don’t.
Majority: What DemocRATs are if you count all the dead people at least twice.
Extremist: One who goes too far by giving going to Washington to complain to his or her (s)elected representative.
Fascism: When a democratically elected government does the opposite of what it was sent to office to do.
Death Panel: Another nice part of PelosiCare.
Waterloo: When a grossly unfair and unpopular policy is passed and implemented in the middle of the night with secret deals and payoffs.
Finance Reform: Any policy that lets the left continue to cheat.
Sound science = It sounds like science, but, unlike actual science, demands 100% certainty and is not subject to revision. See also Biblical truth.
I was reading this site and couldn’t believe there was so little real irony. I was getting to the end, and then WHAM!
Thanks Iben Hakenluggis! Good of you to show up.