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Conservative Tin Foil Hat Time

Two articles caught my eye today that epitomize what’s wrong with today’s conservative movement in America — all they have left is rage. What else could explain this completely bizarre editorial in the Chicago Sun-Times by Terry Savage. While driving through an upscale neighborhood on a hot day she noticed three little girls had set up a lemonade stand. But what has her fuming is that these three little communists were giving their lemonade away for free. According to her:

Three girls giving away free lemonade isn’t cute, it’s indicative of the lack of economic responsibility we’re passing on to future generations. … If we can’t teach our kids the basics of running a lemonade stand, how can we ever teach Congress the basics of economics?

Seriously. Go read the article if you don’t believe me.

Money may be the same as free speech now, but free lemonade is socialism. Greed is enshrined as righteousness.

But that isn’t the only thing that conservatives are raging about. This summer is heating up to be an even crazier version of last year’s conservative assault on our country. Remember when the Texas governor suggested that Texas secede from the US? Well, now they are drumming for a new civil war. Glenn Beck says “I think we’re headed for a civil war“. Bob Owens says you should “Go to your Congressman’s office and scream at him in the most colorful language possible. Hang him in effigy at protests. If you’re willing to do the time for the crime, have a swing at him.” Limbaugh says “This is the kind of stuff that starts civil wars folks; this is not coincidental.” And Pamela Geller warns “If the king decrees that all illegals will be granted amnesty, I can assure you that America will not go quietly. … It is increasingly clear that the most divisive President in history is itching for a civil war. And at the rate he is going, he is going to get one”.

That’s bad enough, but conservative pundits are going absolutely ape-shit about Obama. Among the accusations tossed out are that he is a Russian spy, a thug, a terrorist, that he is deliberately prolonging the Gulf oil spill crisis, that he is working toward one world government, and even that he wants to control “your toilet”.

It’s tin foil hat time.

UPDATE: Gin and Tacos has created a hilarious annotated version of this story. Read it if you want a good laugh.



  1. Sammy wrote:

    Wow! IK, I have to admit that I thought maybe you had misread the column or had taken hyperbole or satire as literal. I know you’re an intelligent dude, but I didn’t think anyone could possibly turn cute kids giving away lemonade and rant about redistribution of wealth.

    One: Mea culpa for doubting your knack for observation.
    Two: I wish you had indeed been mistaken about Savage’s tone. I’ve never heard of him, and I’m really happy about that. What a stain.

    Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 5:01 pm | Permalink
  2. Iron Knee wrote:

    I’m certainly not infallible, so I’m happy I have people like you watching to make sure I don’t go off the deep end.

    Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 5:22 pm | Permalink
  3. Wally wrote:

    First of all, Terry Savage is female. Not that it makes things better or worse.

    Secondly, what a tool.

    Thirdly, she’d better get over to Virginia. The socialist Wal-Mart there is giving out FREE LEMONADE to hot and thirsty citizens. Teh HORROR!

    Wednesday, July 7, 2010 at 11:43 am | Permalink
  4. starluna wrote:

    If Obama can reduce my water bill and ensure that I never have to use the plunger again, he can have control of my toilet.

    Thursday, July 8, 2010 at 8:04 am | Permalink