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Late Night Political Humor

“There are 37 Republican candidates for the Senate. Not one believes global warming is real and man made. Except the one, Mike Castle, the guy [O’Donnell] defeated in Delaware.” – Bill Maher

“I saw that new movie ‘Devil’ or as Delaware Tea Party candidate Christine O’Donnell calls it, ‘Roots'” – Jay Leno

“There’s a clip going around of this Christine O’Donnell discussing how she once dabbled in witchcraft. Have you heard about this? Although she says she never joined a coven. Never joined a coven? Hey, what do you think Congress is?” – Jay Leno

“This is going to be exciting. We haven’t had a witch in Washington since, oh, Condoleezza Rice, I think.” – David Letterman

“Well, you know what’s interesting, O’Donnell said she dabbled in witchcraft, and her opponent, Democratic candidate Chris Coons, he had no comment. He wanted to comment, but he lost his voice, went blind and came down with boils. It was horrible.” – Jay Leno

“Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell is taking criticism because she once said she dabbled in witchcraft. Yeah, everyone is talking about this. O’Donnell was like, ‘If one more person claims I’m a witch, I will take legal action against them and their little dog, too!'” – Jimmy Fallon

“This Christine O’Donnell is a very conservative woman. Not only is she against premarital sex, she is against masturbation. She even wants to outlaw beef jerky.” – Jay Leno

“The state of Delaware has nominated and they’re going to probably elect a witch as Senator from Delaware. Listen to this. One day Delaware elects a witch. The next day the recession is over. I don’t know. Is that a coincidence?” – David Letterman

“The National Bureau of Economic Research announced the recession actually ended in 2009. What idiots we were! So that recession you think you’re in, that’s as imaginary as the job you used to have.” – Jay Leno

“Economic experts say the recession is over. Earlier today, they were popping champagne at the unemployment office.” – David Letterman

“What they don’t tell you, the next recession started in July of last year.” – Jay Leno

“Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol Palin is on ‘Dancing With The Stars.’ And I’m telling you something, you can’t get any bigger star than the daughter of a vice presidential loser. That’s as good as it gets there.” – David Letterman

“Bristol Palin made her debut on the show and after a lot of speculation, Sarah Palin was not there to see it in person. However, she could see it from her house.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Bristol Palin is one of the dancers on the show. She got an 18. The judges were pretty nice to her. Her mother, Sarah Palin, said she was going to be in the audience for the first show, but she wasn’t. It’s not like her to commit to something and back out. But it’s otter hunting season.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Yesterday, President Obama’s aide had to step in and pay more money after Obama only gave a fruit vendor a dollar for four apples. The aide said it was awkward having pay Obama’s bill. Then China was like, ‘Eh, you get used to it.'” – Jimmy Fallon