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Walking in his Shoes

[reprinted from Bullseye Rooster.]

“If American workers are being denied their right to organize and collectively bargain, when I’m in the White House, I’ll put on a comfortable pair of shoes myself, I’ll walk on that picket line with you as President of the United States of America.”

Barack Obama, November 2nd, 2007 in South Carolina
Mr President,
We manufacture the fine comfort shoe, Sino-Star Flex King, and recommend it for use in the long march of divisive contention. It is leather of slip-last construction and will guide you in relaxation to your goal. It is made available to you in trade for rights to distribute as a low-cost meal add-on (for example, Happy Meal) at a convenient firm for your purposes. May we have video of your feet leading you to success in labor movement relations? We will use it only for advertising and other capitalistic purposes.
– Jin Den Ng, CEO
Sino Star Shoe Company
Fujian Province
Mr Deng,
We wish to thank you for your kind offer. But we must explain the offer we made to march was in the form of a “campaign promise,” and is not to be considered binding. Thank you for your interest.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidetial Domestic Policy Advisor
Mr President,
You may wish to travel the American Streets in old-world comfort. Here in Libya we have many Sedan Chair teams available for your use at no cost. We ask only that you stand with us and make clear your unequivocal commitment to the rebel cause.
In Brotherhood,
Mustafa Gawarrah, Commander Rebel Contigent
Bengazi, Libya
Dear Mustafa,
As much the Obama Administration would like to comment on the troubles in Libya, we must refrain from making the kind of public statements that might be deemed as “financiallly inappropriate.” Sedan chairs are indeed inviting, but we might appear to be endorsing the use of your teams over others. Thank you.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidential Domestic Policy Adviser.
Dear Mr President,
I am a shoe repairman from the old school. Which means I am pro-union, but not a union man at present due to a lack of a union to belong to. I don’t care what kind of shoe you wear, I can make it more comfortable. In addition, I can build in a rather sharp steel toe, with which you may kick Governor Walker in the ass. And he will stay kicked. Please take me up on it.
David Bertling
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Dear Mr Bertling
We have received thousands of good ideas. Yours will be seriously considered at an appropriate time. But it must wait until after the 2012 elections so as not to seem divisive or controversial. Excessive virtue in pursuit of leadership can be seen as excessive leadership in the pursuit of virtue.
Thank you.
Sandra Tubbs, Presidential Domestic Leadership Adviser



  1. PatriotSGT wrote:

    There a song from the late 80’s called “Cult of Personality” by Living Colour that had a line “The mirror speaks, the reflection lies”. Lots of other seemingly true lyrics that describe this same phenomenon, see for yourself:

    Friday, February 25, 2011 at 3:27 pm | Permalink
  2. PatroitSGT: That song was used on Guitar Hero, which my husband adored.

    I can remember clearly many a night that I wasn’t getting to sleep, hearing him mangle it over and over and …

    Thanks for the earworm. 😉

    Friday, February 25, 2011 at 5:41 pm | Permalink
  3. Sammy wrote:

    Patriot, I’m pretty surprised you were (are) a fan of Living Colour. It kind of shatters my preconceived notions. I love that album (it’s on my iPod).

    Friday, February 25, 2011 at 6:17 pm | Permalink
  4. PatriotSGT wrote:

    Actually, I used to play the bari-sax in a jazz band and the drums in a rock band. Just basement type stuff, although our 12 piece jazz band played several art festival type of venues. I loved it, then my adult commitments (I love that group too and was a certified Led Head) did not allow me the time to indulge. I miss it, maybe when I retire….

    Saturday, February 26, 2011 at 9:35 am | Permalink