[satire from “Other News That Did Not Happen, But Could Have“, reprinted from The Dismal Political Economist]
Newly announced Republican Presidential nomination aspirant Rick Santorum said that he would have anti-gay marriage as the center of his campaign. He praised Newt Gingrich for his three, count em, three straight marriages and said that was the type of traditional family values the country needed. He also raised the issue that Mitt Romney had only one straight marriage, and had made no effort to end it and enter into another. “Being still married to the same woman all this time”, the former Senator said, “makes Mitt awfully vulnerable on family values”. When told of this a Romney spokesperson said, “You’re kidding, right, but if not Mr. Romney will look into doing something about the matter”.