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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama says his new jobs bill will create over 1.9 million jobs — and up to 50 of them will be right here in America.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama has proposed a new tax increase called the ‘Buffett rule.’ At first, Newt Gingrich was for it because he thought it was the ‘buffet rule’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Obama said Americans feel things aren’t fair, that the deck is stacked against them, and that nobody is paying attention. That’s an inspiring campaign speech.” – Jay Leno

“Michelle Obama has convinced the owners of the Olive Garden to cut calories and sodium by 20 percent. They took the first lady’s advice because Michelle Obama is more Italian than anybody that works at the Olive Garden.” – Conan O’Brien

“Did you know the White House makes its own beer? President Obama bought the equipment with his own money and he brews his own beer in the White House. That might explain some of these recent economic policies.” – Jay Leno

“More and more information coming out about our other presidential candidates. Like, did you know that Mitt Romney’s real name is Willard? He was born Willard. Well, thank god he had the good sense to change it to “Mitt.” That’s so much more accessible than Will.” – Jay Leno

“An article in the paper says today that Rick Perry is just ‘George Bush 2.0.’ To which Bush said ‘2.0? I wish I did that well in school. Those are my dream grades.'” – Jay Leno

“All the world leaders at the United Nations agree on one thing: Superman has got to do more.” – David Letterman

“At the United Nations in New York, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was bragging that Iran now leads the world in captured hikers.” – David Letterman

“Nobody likes hiking more than I do, but it seems to me that if you have an atlas, you can find many places to go hiking – that aren’t Iraq or Korea.” – David Letterman

“This week, the U.S. military will formally end it’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy. Later this week, the Air Force begins Operation ‘It’s Raining Men.'” – Conan O’Brien



  1. Andy wrote:

    Mrs. Obama really twisted Olive Garden’s arm with this one… “Sell 20% less food for the same price AND get credit for being healthy? You sure drive a hard bargain, Michelle”
    I admire her efforts, but it seems that no matter what happens, the agricultural-industrial complex wins. Pushing to have skim milk in schools instead of whole milk? The dairy industry would be glad to sell you skim milk instead at the same price, with its higher profit margin. Does this end up helping kids? Doubtful. Skim milk has a much higher glycemic index than whole, and two different studies from Sweden (where fat is less villainized) showed that 1. Kids eating skim milk ended up on average consuming the same amount of calories per day as those drinking whole, and 2. Kids who drink whole milk have on average a lower bmi than those drinking skim.
    Bottom line? I am concerned at how frequently political figures either knowingly or unknowingly support measures that are supposedly designed to end obesity, when all they actually do is increase agribusiness profits. (For an example of what I assume to be knowing support, see MBachmann’s claims that food safety guidelines are hurting small business owners… How many small business owners that run food processing plants do you know?)

    Monday, September 26, 2011 at 12:36 am | Permalink
  2. Iron Knee wrote:

    Links? Who is pushing to have skim milk in schools? What studies in Sweden?

    Monday, September 26, 2011 at 8:45 am | Permalink