“On Friday, President Obama spent the night at his home in Chicago for the first time in over a year. It was nice – he even went down to the basement and dusted off some old campaign promises.” – Jimmy Fallon
“That’s right, Obama spent the night at his home in Chicago. Of course it got awkward when he left and his housekeeper was like, ‘So, see you after the election?'” – Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new book coming out by a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, apparently when he was in high school, President Obama smoked large amounts of marijuana. You know what that means? He could be our first green president.” – Jay Leno
“Unemployment is still looking pretty bad. In fact, the White House has a new slogan on job creation: ‘Hope and change the subject.'” – Jay Leno
“The unemployment numbers are higher than President Obama was in high school.” – Jay Leno
“New research shows that elderly people emit a distinct odor. Yeah, the study was conducted by two guys stuck in an elevator with Larry King.” – Conan O’Brien
