“The word “sailing” sounds cool. It sounds better than “yachting,” which sounds like something Mitt Romney does in his indoor lake.” – Craig Ferguson
“Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut.” – Craig Ferguson
“Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.” – Craig Ferguson
“Olympic officials said Saudi Arabia’s first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a headscarf. A Saudi woman said she’s thrilled about the ruling. All she needs now is a man to drive her to the Olympics.” – Conan O’Brien
“The Olympics are getting mixed reviews. People are angry at NBC for showing a promo that revealed the winner of a swimming event even though the race hadn’t aired yet. NBC apologized saying, ‘We’re just not used to people watching our network.'” – Conan O’Brien
“An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you’re swimming.” – Conan O’Brien
“Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it’s getting worse. That’s not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.” – Craig Ferguson
