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Late Night Political Humor

“Mitt Romney said the 47 percent of people who don’t pay taxes are going to vote for Obama. You know what that means? He’s going to vote for Obama.” – Jay Leno

“If you take the 47 percent that Mitt Romney says pay no taxes and add that to the people who Obama says cling to their guns and religion, that’s the whole country right there.” – Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney said if he had Mexican parents, he’d have a better shot of winning… But unfortunately Romney was tragically held back by being born of rich white people.” – Conan O’Brien

“All of these political strategists are trying to explain why Mitt Romney can’t seem to get his message out. I’m no strategist but it’s hard to talk with both a silver spoon and a foot in your mouth.” – Jay Leno

“Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan told the crowd at the Values Voter Summit that if President Obama wins, there’s no going back. So basically what he said was, once you go black, you can’t go back.” – Jay Leno

“It is high time that the GOP stop trying to appeal to smart people – and letting Rick Santorum in front of a microphone is a great place to start.” – Stephen Colbert (on Santorum’s remarks that “smart people will never be on our side”)

“A Pakistani man died yesterday after inhaling fumes from burning an American flag. Good! Thank you. See, let me show you how incredible that is. We don’t have to defend the American flag. It can defend itself.” – Jay Leno