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Late Night Political Humor

“Last night, Mitt Romney said when he was looking to hire females, he would browse through ‘binders full of women.’ Romney said he got the idea from Tom Cruise.” – Conan O’Brien

“Couple of things: One, the women’s group was called MassGAP and they approached Governor Romney, not the other way around. And two, my guess is they did not refer to what they presented as a binder full of women, but perhaps as an organized collection of qualified resumes. But hey, Binder of Women, Book of Broads, Notebook of Nipples, whatever.” – Jon Stewart

“On the subject of equal pay for women, he said that when he was filling cabinet positions as governor of Massachusetts, he went out of his way to make sure he hired women. He said he had ‘binders full of women’, which is a little creepy. Binders full of women is something they’d find in a serial killer’s basement at the end of Law & Order SVU.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Maybe for Mitt Romney that’s the closest he’s ever gotten to looking at a dirty magazine.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Romney’s policy toward women is clear: we have to alphabetize them.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“A CNN poll today said that 46 percent of viewers who watched thought Obama won and 39 percent thought Mitt Romney won. So, it looks like Obama’s strategy of staying awake through this one paid off.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The time for fact checking is after the event when voters have stopped watching. We should not be sullying their emotional reactions with accuracy.” – Stephen Colbert (on Candy Crowley fact-checking Mitt Romney during the presidential debate)

“The format of the debate was a town hall meeting. Before last night, I didn’t know town hall meetings were a real thing. I thought they made them up for movies like ‘Footloose’ and ‘Hoosiers’.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“The questions last night came from undecided voters, and what a group they were. Basically these were the people who still cash checks at the supermarket.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Everyone on TV has said everything there is to say about the last presidential debate, so there’s no political commentary here. Tuning into this show for political commentary is like watching Bravo to learn about sports. Or like going to Larry King for marital advice.” – Craig Ferguson

“Larry King is moderating a presidential debate between third-party candidates on the Internet. That could be awkward. Most Americans have never heard of these candidates. And Larry King has never heard of the Internet.” – Craig Ferguson

“Shocking. A conservative Republican congressman was caught having an illicit affair — and it wasn’t with a man, woohoo!” – Stephen Colbert