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Late Night Political Humor

“A huge snowstorm is set to hit Washington, D.C., and it’s being called the Snowquester. Democrats say it could be 10 inches, Republicans want it cut down to 2.” – Conan O’Brien

“A lot of people are worried about the effects of the budget cuts. The automatic budget cuts could lead to a huge drop in food inspections. So be careful if you eat at the Olive Garden; your meal may contain trace amounts of Italian food.” – Conan O’Brien

“If you need more proof that the president is no friend of Israel, just do the math. Back in 2007, President Bush supported Israel with $2.3 billion in foreign military aid. This year, President Obama wants to bring that down to just $3.1 billion. I know it looks like it’s going up, but remember: in Hebrew you read charts from right to left.” – Stephen Colbert

“It is Election Day. We’re going for a new mayor. At one point, our mayor was hanging around with Charlie Sheen. Everyone was wondering: Why would the most powerful guy in the city, a role model, and pillar of our community, want to hang around with the mayor?” – Craig Ferguson

“It’s been almost a decade since we’ve had a new mayor. It’s starting to seem like the mayor of Los Angeles was one of those jobs for life. Like Supreme Court judge, or host of ‘The Tonight Show’.” – Craig Ferguson

“Cardinals from all over the world are gathering in Rome to select the next Pope. You can watch the whole process on ‘Vatican’s Got Talent’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Jon Stewart has announced he will be taking the summer off from ‘The Daily Show.’ We wish him all the best in his new project: ruling the country of Venezuela.” – Stephen Colbert