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Late Night Political Humor

“After a very difficult week, it’s good to know that bad guys don’t get away with it. We caught the Ricin guy. We caught the bombers. This is a powerful message from our government; we will not be intimidated by bombs, we will not be intimidated by poison. This is America. If you are a violent, paranoid lunatic, you must use a gun.” – Bill Maher

“These are two bombers – they are two brothers, ethnic Chechens, which is in southern Russia – who came to the U.S. from the country of Kyrgyzstan, which is in central Asia. And today George W. Bush vowed revenge and called for an immediate invasion of Puerto Rico.” – Bill Maher

“Between these two assholes and the douchebag who sent Ricin to President Obama, it makes me very nostalgic for the carefree days of last week when we were just being threatened by North Korea with nuclear annihilation.” – Bill Maher

“The guy who sent the Ricin to President Obama … believed he had uncovered a conspiracy to sell human body parts on the black market and the government was in on it. He’s been apprehended, he’s facing jail time, and he’s leading in the polls for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016.” – Bill Maher

“Because of the filibuster, the gun bill failed 54 to 46. Failed. I tell you, if the American people ever learn math, they’re going to be pissed.” – Bill Maher

“90 percent of people support background checks, which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.” – Bill Maher

“A lot of the senators are saying off the record that the reason they couldn’t vote for any sort of gun bill is that they couldn’t go back to their district in this year after we’ve dealt with gay marriage and immigration and gun regulations. This is too much for the peckerwoods to process in any one moment. You might as well say Obama is coming for your deep fryer.” – Bill Maher