Skip to content

Late Night Political Humor

“New Rule: Republicans trying to turn the Benghazi attacks into a scandal that taints Hillary Clinton’s chances at a 2016 presidential run must realize that scandals don’t weaken Hillary Clinton, they only make her stronger. Travelgate, the Rose Law Firm, Whitewater, Vince Foster, Monica Lewinsky… Hillary Clinton eats scandals for breakfast. If the Republicans keep this up she’ll not only be President, she’ll appoint Bill to the Supreme Court.” – Bill Maher

“While President Obama was in Texas, he told people to ‘Remember the Alamo and forget about Benghazi’.” – Jay Leno

“For those of you who have not been following Benghazi-gate, President Obama … has done the worst thing ever that anyone ever did in mankind. The Republicans now just have to figure out what. They have no idea what it is.” – Bill Maher

“They want so bad to find a smoking gun and there just isn’t one. There is no smoking gun. How said is that? Someone in America not able to find a gun.” – Bill Maher

“President Obama has been going around the country to rally support for his economic plan, and yesterday he said that a lot of sectors of our economy are doing better. When pressed for examples, Obama said, ‘Uh — the Iron Man sequel sector?'” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama was down in Texas on his ‘Middle-class jobs and opportunity tour’. Don’t confuse that with his first term. That was the ‘Middle-class jobs and MISSED opportunity tour.'” – Jay Leno

“Chris Christie revealed a couple months ago that he had lap band surgery. They’re speculating that he did this because they’re thinking he’s going to run for president in 2016, and he couldn’t unless he lost a lot of weight, and this procedure accomplishes that because it surgically pinches off your stomach so you just can’t eat. Because that’s what you want in a president, someone with absolutely no will power, someone who says ‘I can literally not contain myself’.” – Bill Maher

“The Statue of Liberty is reopening on July 4. It has been closed since last year. What happened was she went in for lap band surgery.” – David Letterman



  1. a regular reader wrote:

    I laughed… I cried… I ignored the Maher bits (because he’s a dick and a half)!

    Monday, May 20, 2013 at 1:53 am | Permalink
  2. ebdoug wrote:

    Bill Maher listed all the reasons that Hillary can’t run. Where did she get her millions to run in the last election?

    Monday, May 20, 2013 at 6:15 am | Permalink