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Late Night Political Humor

“More problems for the IRS. Isn’t that the feel-good story of the year? They wasted $50 million over a two-year period on conferences and retreats for employees. They even spent $11,000 on a happiness expert. I have an idea how to make them happier. How about stopping making everybody else’s life miserable? Start with that!” – Jay Leno

“We put up with the IRS. They weasel you and take your hard-earned money. They’ve been taking their tax dollars and throwing themselves lavish parties. I was thinking, ‘Yeah, well, what good is it being a bunch of power-hungry, jack-booted goons if you can’t enjoy yourselves, if you can’t every now and then pat yourself on the back?'” – David Letterman

“IRS executive Lois Lerner has refused to quit and will collect her full pay and benefits while on administrative leave. They asked her to resign. She refused to go. Where in the real world does that ever happen? You get fired and you tell your boss, ‘I’m going to stay, and I want my money.’ And you wonder why we’re $16 trillion in debt.” – Jay Leno

“A new report says if Republicans want to win over young voters they need to get up to date with technology. Well, the GOP is listening because today they told young people everywhere to ‘be prepared to receive a very exciting fax from us’.” – Conan O’Brien

“Mayor Bloomberg now says he’s outlawing sugary drinks. Look at this way: crime, meth labs, collapsing buildings – all not a problem. Sugary drinks? you are going to prison. You’re going to do hard time.” – David Letterman



  1. Dan wrote:

    What’s wrong with the IRS organizing conferences? 50 mil is a tiny fraction of its budget.

    There’s a real cognitive dissonance here: Some would like the government to be run like a private company (Romney as CEO?), or to have as much out-sourced to private companies as possible. But when it comes to an agency of the government actually behaving like a private company, whether it’s spending money on corporate events (like conferences) or paying some employees apparently disproportionate salaries, the same people would like to be outraged.

    Tuesday, June 11, 2013 at 4:10 pm | Permalink
  2. Dan wrote:

    “We put up with . They weasel you and take your hard-earned money. They’ve been taking their dollars and throwing themselves lavish parties.”

    Tuesday, June 11, 2013 at 4:10 pm | Permalink
  3. Dan wrote:

    (sorry, left and right angle brackets did not come through correctly in the previous post.)

    Tuesday, June 11, 2013 at 4:11 pm | Permalink
  4. Dan wrote:

    Also, I’m surprised Leno doesn’t have a severance package, or does not know that they exist for all management-level white-collar workers.

    Tuesday, June 11, 2013 at 4:13 pm | Permalink
  5. PatriotSGT wrote:

    Well Dan, I’d rather some sense of urgency be a part of government spending, I bet we could have fed a lot of homeless people and given them some free healthcare on 50million. But that’s just me and how i’d want my tax dollars spent.

    Tuesday, June 11, 2013 at 8:07 pm | Permalink
  6. Dan wrote:

    Patriotsgt, so you agree, that government agencies should not be run like a private corporations?

    Wednesday, June 12, 2013 at 12:45 am | Permalink