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Late Night Political Humor – Superbowl edition

“Did you all see that game yesterday? Was that the worst Super Bowl ever? It was 43 to 8. The Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet was more competitive than that.” – Jay Leno

“With all the hoopla over the Super Bowl, did you know Sunday was Groundhog Day? What happened was the groundhog saw his shadow and then kept watching it. He thought it would be more exciting than watching that stupid Super Bowl.” – Jay Leno

“The final score was 43-8. At least that’s what people told me when I woke up.” – David Letterman

“How about that Super Bowl? Some of you may expect me to make jokes about the Broncos. I won’t do that. To me it’s just beating a dead horse.” – Craig Ferguson

“Let’s talk about the big game yesterday. The Seahawks beat the Broncos 43-8. The Broncos are blaming it on a traffic study.” – David Letterman

“Poor Broncos. Experts said they haven’t seen something crushed like that in New Jersey since Chris Christie’s beanbag chair.” – Craig Ferguson

“While he was at the game, Governor Chris Christie was up to his old tricks. It turns out he blocked three lines at the concession stand.” – Jay Leno

“The Broncos couldn’t move the ball. The last time I saw a Bronco going that slow, OJ was driving it through L.A.” – Jay Leno

“On Saturday before the Super Bowl, Peyton Manning received the NFL’s MVP award for the season. Yeah, unfortunately it was immediately intercepted by a Seahawk.” – Conan O’Brien

“The Broncos looked so bad, even the L.A. Lakers said, ‘This is kind of embarrassing to watch.’ Peyton Manning had such a bad night that Tim Tebow said, ‘I could have done that.'” – Craig Ferguson

“Well done, Seattle. I think they needed this to cement their reputation. Before last night, the meanest guy from Seattle was ‘Frasier’.” – Craig Ferguson

“It wasn’t much of a Super Bowl game. The Seahawks beat the Broncos 43-8. You know how after the game the winning players go to Disney World? Some of the Seahawks went halfway through the third quarter.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“In spite of being a terrible game, the Super Bowl was the most watched TV event in history. So apparently it’s true — if we do start televising executions, people will watch.” – Jay Leno

“People were partying in Seattle on Sunday night after the game. They were singing, they were laughing, they were hugging complete strangers, dancing in the streets. Basically, the same thing they’ve done every night in Seattle since they legalized marijuana.” –Jay Leno

“The Broncos got beaten really bad — and we still won’t know until we find the black box exactly what went wrong.” –David Letterman

“So we have the Broncos, and Jay Leno is leaving the “Tonight Show” — what a week for turnovers, huh?” –David Letterman

“The Super Bowl was on Fox, so the traditional pre-game sit-down with President Obama went to Bill O’Reilly. The interview got off to a rocky start. O’Reilly asked Obama, ‘Where you were born was football played with your feet?’ And it went downhill from there.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“At the end of the interview O’Reilly said he thinks Obama’s ‘heart is in the right place.’ What does that mean? That’s basically saying that I don’t think he’s destroying America intentionally.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Yesterday, Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea admitted the band faked playing during the Super Bowl. In his defense, so did the Broncos.” – Conan O’Brien