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Why Conservatives are Afraid of Ebola

Some Fear Ebola Outbreak Could Make Nation Turn to Science

by Andy Borowitz

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—There is a deep-seated fear among some Americans that an Ebola outbreak could make the country turn to science.

In interviews conducted across the nation, leading anti-science activists expressed their concern that the American people, wracked with anxiety over the possible spread of the virus, might desperately look to science to save the day.

“It’s a very human reaction,” said Harland Dorrinson, a prominent anti-science activist from Springfield, Missouri. “If you put them under enough stress, perfectly rational people will panic and start believing in science.”

Additionally, he worries about a “slippery slope” situation, “in which a belief in science leads to a belief in math, which in turn fosters a dangerous dependence on facts.”

At the end of the day, though, Dorrinson hopes that such a doomsday scenario will not come to pass. “Time and time again through history, Americans have been exposed to science and refused to accept it,” he said. “I pray that this time will be no different.”

Reagan and AIDS



  1. Iron Knee wrote:

    Extra bonus link — “Ebola hysteria: Epic, epidemic overreaction”

    And today, the World Health Organization declared that the Ebola outbreak was over, at least in one country — Nigeria. This is significant, because I keep hearing the fear-crazed statement that once Ebola starts spreading, there is no way to contain it. Even after suffering 20 cases of Ebola and 8 deaths (including two doctors and a nurse), Nigeria was able to deal with and eliminate the disease.

    Monday, October 20, 2014 at 8:08 am | Permalink
  2. Jon wrote:

    “…once Ebola starts spreading, there is no way to contain it.” Not to minimize the disease, but it clearly CAN and HAS been contained more than once…

    Eliminated, no. Contained, yes.

    Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 1:12 pm | Permalink