“Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.” – Bill Maher
“Brian Williams of NBC News has admitted he embellished a story about being in a helicopter that was shot at in Iraq. Williams says the helicopter part was true but it was a coin-operated helicopter outside of a Chuck E. Cheese. It was in a bad part of Connecticut.” – Conan O”Brien
“At today’s National Prayer Breakfast, President Obama and the Dalai Lama avoided a direct meeting. Uh-oh, sounds like there may be some Obama-Lama drama.” – Seth Meyers
“What we don’t know about is Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once gave his brother Florida on a silver platter.” – Bill Maher
“House Speaker John Boehner said the Republican Party will no longer stand in the way of gay marriage. Then Boehner said, ‘Now can I go to Elton John’s Oscar party?'” – Conan O’Brien
“Rand Paul and Chris Christie both said vaccinations should be a choice, not a government mandate. Because when have Republicans ever told people what they could do with their own bodies?” – Bill Maher
“According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it’s fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes.” – Jimmy Fallon
I gotta admit, the thing that makes me laugh is Chris Christie–the man who believes that vaccinations should be a choice–was ready to throw somebody into solitary confinement for two weeks for having returned from a place with Ebola and was just passing through his state.