“It seems like every day, another candidate comes out of the woodwork. In fact this week, a man from Iowa whose actual legal name is Deez Nuts, announced that he is running for president. Then Americans looked at the other candidates and said, ‘He can’t be worse than DOZE nuts.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump said yesterday that he would love to have Sarah Palin in his administration because she is somebody who knows what’s happening. Said Sarah Palin, ‘Trump’s running for president? When did that happen?'” – Seth Meyers
“Donald Trump — there are still 15 months to go in this election, he was all over the news again today. He’s on everything all the time. I don’t know how he’s going to keep up this pace. Donald Trump has reached a saturation level that is nothing short of Kardashian-esque.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Chris Christie said yesterday if he’s elected, he’ll fight against legalized marijuana, so Colorado and Washington residents had better, quote, ‘Smoke that pot now.’ Colorado and Washington residents said, ‘OK. That was the plan all along. Are you guys trying to trick us? Hey, if you’re a cop, you have to tell us. You’re eating doughnuts.'” – Seth Meyers
Know that the kind of air filter units cost hardware
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