“Things haven’t been going too great for Jeb Bush, but he’s not giving up. His campaign has spent the most money on TV ads, $30 million. I don’t want to say Jeb’s run too many ads, but his new Secret Service code name is ‘Geico’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“In New York, Federal authorities have seized 274 pairs of shoes made from endangered species. The shoes were made from rhino horn, crocodile skin, and Jeb Bush supporters.” – Conan O’Brien
“Hillary Clinton recently started following a bunch of new people and organizations on Instagram, including the home improvement channel, HGTV. When asked why, Hillary was like, ‘Oh, I’m getting a new house soon.'” – Jimmy Fallon
“Hillary went on an Instagram binge and followed a bunch of celebrities like Beyonce, Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. When asked if Bill Clinton follows any women on Instagram, he was like, ‘All of them’.” – Jimmy Fallon
“It’s come out that last year, a man was able to get past the Secret Service and speak with President Obama by pretending to be a congressman. The Secret Service realized he wasn’t a congressman because he was willing to be seen with President Obama.” – Conan O’Brien
