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Late Night Political Humor

“Last night was the Republican caucus in Nevada, and Donald Trump scored a big victory, bringing him one step closer to the Republican nomination. A Trump presidency is getting so real, Mexico is starting to think a wall is a pretty great idea.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Trump even won the Latino vote. Which is amazing. It makes me wonder if people really come here from Mexico for a better life or if they come to get away from their relatives. Maybe they want the wall to keep their in-laws out.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Although she herself is an immigrant, Donald Trump’s wife Melania says she is fine with her husband’s tough anti-immigration stance. When asked why, Mrs. Trump said she had about 4.5 billion reasons.” – Conan O’Brien

“Donald Trump said yesterday that his supporters are so loyal that they would kill for him. In fact, that’s who killed that thing he wears on his head.” – Seth Meyers

“Trump won the Nevada caucuses in every demographic last night. He won white men, white women, white rich people, and white poor people. Rural whites, urban whites. He got one vote from a Chinese guy, which was nice.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“NASA said this week it has received a record high number of 18,000 applications for their astronaut training program. NASA said it shows a growing interest in space exploration. Then people said, “Nah, we just wanna get off the planet before this election.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“After he won yesterday’s Nevada caucus, Donald Trump said, ‘I love the poorly educated.’ Trump then said, ‘And when I’m president there’ll be more of them than ever.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Following his win at last night’s Nevada caucus, Donald Trump told supporters that he won in almost every voter demographic, and said, quote, ‘I love the poorly educated.’ To which they replied, ‘Us love you more, Mr. Trunks!'” – Seth Meyers

“Dr. Ben Carson finished a distant fourth in Nevada. He only got 5 percent of the vote. But for some reason he’s still not dropping out. He’s promised to continue on. He said, ‘I believe that things are starting to happen here.’ You know it’s time to drop out when it has been weeks since Donald Trump even bothered to call you a moron.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“I was thinking about why Ben Carson is still running today and my first guess is he’s retired and he’s bored. He has $10 million in the bank. Why not run? But there’s another possibility. Maybe he’s sleepwalking.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Wealthy GOP donors are now lining up behind Marco Rubio. Not because the donors think he can stop Trump, but because they think Rubio is the valet.” – Conan O’Brien

“Despite Jeb Bush’s poor campaign, some analysts are already talking about the political rise of his son, George P. Bush. George P. Bush has already got his campaign slogan: ‘Don’t Worry I Was Adopted.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Hillary came to Los Angeles and she visited the set of the political drama ‘Scandal’. There was an awkward moment when Hillary told the writers, ‘Man, have I got some ideas for you.'” – Conan O’Brien