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Late Night Political Humor

[Jokes from June 16, 2016]

“One year ago today, Donald Trump announced he was running for president as he rode down an escalator. And our country’s been going down that escalator ever since.” – Conan O’Brien

“Today is the one-year anniversary of Donald Trump’s announcement that he would run for president. It’s hard to believe it was only one year ago that Democrats were worried about Jeb Bush.” – Seth Meyers

“Donald Trump said he would, unlike previous presidents, sit down and meet with Kim Jong Un to make a kind of deal but only on U.S. soil. I don’t think that will work. I think they should meet but somewhere neutral, like at a Supercuts.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump says, if elected, he is willing to ‘accept’ a visit by Kim Jong Un. Kim Jong Un said, ‘No, thanks, that guy’s crazy.'” – Conan O’Brien

“In a new poll, 35% of Americans say they think Donald Trump will be elected president in November. They also said, ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish packing.'” – Seth Meyers

“One of Trump’s big supporters, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie, is having a rough week. Lawyers working on the Bridgegate investigation claim that Christie destroyed evidence connecting him to the scandal, including a cellphone. Christie said he had no idea where the cellphone was, then his stomach started ringing.” – Jimmy Fallon

“The DNC accused Russian hackers [of stealing its opposition research on Trump], and Trump is accusing the DNC of leaking it. Accusing the other party of leaking it is like accusing McDonald’s of leaking McNuggets.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump said much of the information is false. And if people want to read hundreds of pages of false information about him, they should go to his Twitter page where he writes it himself.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Former Republican candidate Herman Cain said that one of the biggest lies about Donald Trump is that he is a racist. Then Trump was like, ‘Thank you, Jay Z. Give my best to your wife, Oprah.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“Oprah has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. When asked about Hillary’s chances of becoming the most powerful woman in the world, Oprah said, ‘Oh, I’m not stepping down.'” – Conan O’Brien

“The FDA says it found ‘serious health violations’ at some Whole Foods stores and actually sent Whole Foods a warning letter. In response, Whole Foods shredded the letter, mixed it with some kale, and is now selling it for $18 a pound.” – Jimmy Fallon