[Jokes from Dec. 14, 2016]
“We’re just 10 days away from Christmas! And if you want to know if Santa has you on his ‘nice’ list or his ‘naughty’ list, just ask Russia to hack it for you.” – Jimmy Fallon
“The Democratic National Committee was actually hacked because one of its directors clicked on a fake email to change his password, which gave Russia access to his account. Then Hillary said, ‘I can’t believe you’d be so careless with your email!'” – Jimmy Fallon
“And it turns out that two separate Russian hacking groups named Cozy Bear and Fancy Bear were targeting the DNC. It’s confusing, ‘cuz ‘Cozy Bear’ and ‘Fancy Bear’ are also Trump and Putin’s nicknames for each other.” – Jimmy Fallon
“When an FBI agent first contacted the DNC to tell them they’d been hacked, the person who took the call thought it was a prank. ‘Yeah, it happens more than you’d think,’ said FBI Agent Seymour Butts.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday the president-elect met with Bill Gates, Jim Brown, and Kanye West. Today he met with executives from Amazon, Tesla, Apple, Google, and Facebook. He gathered all the major tech execs for a very important role: He wanted to see if any of them could figure out his iTunes login.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Kanye West tweeted a photo of a Donald Trump-signed copy of Time Magazine’s Person of the Year issue. Trump signed it, ‘To my good friend, Ben Carson.'” – Conan O’Brien
“So far, President-elect Donald Trump’s cabinet is over 75% white men. It’s the first presidential cabinet in history to be sponsored by Dockers.” – Conan O’Brien
“The CEO of Twitter, Jack Dorsey, did not meet with Donald Trump, I’m guessing for the same reason Dr. Frankenstein never went out of his way to meet the monster.” – Jimmy Kimmel
