[Jokes from Jan. 3, 2017]
On New Year’s Eve Trump tweeted: “Happy new year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!” Enemies? The only people who admit to having “Enemies” are Donald Trump and 8th grade girls. – James Corden
He yells at his enemies, then ends the tweet with the word “Love!” That’s like getting a letter from your landlord that says, “I’m increasing the cost of your rent! Generosity!” – James Corden
Yesterday Donald Trump tweeted at North Korea after they announced plans to test an intercontinental nuclear weapon. Trump tweeted, “It won’t happen.” I’d like to believe he’s right, but “It won’t happen” is exactly what everyone said about Trump becoming president. – James Corden
I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure you can’t stop a nuclear missile by tweeting at it. – James Corden
Also published on Medium.