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Late Night Political Humor

[Jokes from Jul 18, 2017]

I have some sad news tonight. As of 10:48 p.m. eastern last night, the GOP healthcare bill was pronounced dead of terminal sucking. – Stephen Colbert

The Republican bill to repeal and replace Obamacare has officially fallen apart. But Republicans say they’re just going to let Obamacare fail while they regroup and figure out a new plan. And Democrats said, “Hey, that’s the same thing we’re doing with Trump.” – Jimmy Fallon

I’m heart broken, too. You cover the pain. It was always a longshot because the Republicans control only all three branches of government. Can’t be expected to do everything. – Stephen Colbert

Republicans announced last night that the latest GOP healthcare plan will not be moving forward, making this the second draft of the bill to fail in the Senate. Though when it comes to President Trump, the third time’s the charm. – Seth Meyers

Following news that the Senate healthcare plan will not pass, President Trump said that it is important to get more Republicans into office. More? Pretty sure when the “Titanic” was sinking, the answer wasn’t more icebergs. – Seth Meyers

It is hard to overstate the level of failure here. The GOP crushed their car at 90 miles an hour into a cliff with a grin on their face. – Stephen Colbert

According to Politico, the news that two additional Republican senators were not supporting the GOP healthcare plan came as a surprise to President Trump, and if there’s one thing President Trump hates, it’s Eric. – Seth Meyers

At a dinner last night, President Trump told Republican senators that if they didn’t vote for the healthcare bill, they’d look like dopes. And he combed his neck hair over the top of his head and walked away with his tie dragging on the floor. – Jimmy Fallon

After the failure of the GOP healthcare plan, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell outlined plans to repeal Obamacare without a bill to replace it. The same way we got rid of Obama without a good plan to replace him [picture of Donald Trump]. – Seth Meyers

It’s like if Batman vs. Superman took a Pontiac Aztec to Blockbuster Video to rent “The Lone Ranger” and watch it on laser disc. That’s how badly they failed. – Stephen Colbert

Trump had dinner with Republican senators at the White House. They were served steak and lima beans. And Trump wasn’t allowed to leave the table until he finished all of his lima beans. The president was seen scraping them onto the floor. “Do we have a dog?” – Jimmy Fallon