Skip to content

The Eclipse Conspiracy

[I absolutely love this article from The Atlantic. Especially the last line. –iron]

The scientists are all talking like it’s a sure thing.

On August 21, the “moon” will pass between the Earth and the sun, obscuring the light of the latter. The government agency NASA says this will result in “one of nature’s most awe-inspiring sights.” The astronomers there claim to have calculated down to the minute exactly when and where this will happen, and for how long. They have reportedly known about this eclipse for years, just by virtue of some sort of complex math.

This seems extremely unlikely. I can’t even find these eclipse calculations on their website to check them for myself.

Meanwhile the scientists tell us we can’t look at it without special glasses because “looking directly at the sun is unsafe.”

That is, of course, unless we wear glasses that are on a list issued by these very same scientists. Meanwhile, corporations like Amazon are profiting from the sale of these eclipse glasses. Is anyone asking how many of these astronomers also, conveniently, belong to Amazon Prime?

Let’s follow the money a little further. Hotels along the “path of totality”—a region drawn up by Obama-era NASA scientists—have been sold out for months. Some of those hotels are owned and operated by large multinational corporations. Where else do these hotels have locations? You guessed it: Washington, D.C.

In fact the entire politico-scientifico-corporate power structure is aligned behind the eclipse. This includes the mainstream media. How many news stories have you read about how the eclipse won’t happen?

Meanwhile the newspaper owner Jeff Bezos is out there buying all of Seattle with the revenue from these “eclipse glasses.”

You’d think there would be a balanced look at even considering the idea that the eclipse isn’t going to happen. It’s like no one is even thinking to question this. Where are their voices? Why does Google give so few results that say the eclipse is fake? I would start by looking at Mark Zuckerberg and Charles “Chuck” Schumer.

I am not saying the eclipse isn’t going to happen. I’m just saying there are two sides to every story.

Also published on Medium.



  1. ThatGuy wrote:

    Not to join in on this too much, but if you’re lucky enough to be in the path of the eclipse, be sure to check your eclipse glasses are actually on the safe list! Apparently that very same Amazon was having issues keeping “fake” eclipse glasses off its marketplace.

    Monday, August 21, 2017 at 4:52 am | Permalink
  2. Wildwood wrote:

    I ordered some and returned before they were recalled. Ordered new ones and just used them. Spectacular.

    Monday, August 21, 2017 at 1:14 pm | Permalink
  3. Ralph wrote:

    Borowitz is right on top of this, as you’d expect…

    Trump Says Sun Equally to Blame for Blocking Moon

    On the bright, er, dark side, let us give thanks to the moon for slowing down the effects of global warming a tad by blocking the sun’s rays periodically, if briefly. Hey, it’s more than we humans are collectively doing!

    Monday, August 21, 2017 at 1:47 pm | Permalink