“Mitt Romney’s campaign said Obama is spiking the ball too early in Ohio after recent polls show Obama pulling ahead. Obama hasn’t earned that win yet, which is why today the NFL replacement refs just gave it to him anyway.” – Jimmy Fallon “Can prayer save this election? Picking Paul Ryan was certainly a hail […]
“A new poll found that Mitt Romney is behind in Florida by 1 percent. Which is weird because if there’s one group that loves Romney, it’s definitely the 1 percent.” – Jimmy Fallon “Mitt Romney’s campaign is $11 million in debt. This is the guy that’s going to fix our economy?” – David Letterman “I […]
“Congratulations to both Mitt Romney and President Obama. They both won Emmys for their performance on “60 Minutes” last night. Obama won for acting as if everything has gotten better over the last four years, and Romney won for pretending to care about that other 47 percent.” – Jay Leno “The president’s re-election campaign slogan […]
“Mitt Romney on Friday released his 2011 tax returns, which showed he paid 14 percent rate, so just a little less than what restaurants add on for parties of six or more.” – Seth Meyers “The 14 percent tax rate Romney paid is less than the 20 percent paid by the average American. How does […]
The Daily Show correspondents go on strike, in sympathy with the NFL referees. Who did they get as scabs?
“They taped Mitt Romney explaining his positions in a roomful of rich scumbags, I’m sorry, I meant heroic job creators. And he said 47 percent of Americans are basically welfare bums who are mooching off the government. And he said, ‘My job is not to worry about those people.’ You know, where do people get […]
“It’s Fall. Unless you’re Mitt Romney, and then it’s freefall.” – David Letterman “Romney said he doesn’t watch ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ because if Romney wants to see rich people say dumb things on camera he can watch that fundraiser video.” – Jimmy Fallon “What are they talking about? Romney has given some very […]
“Mitt Romney said the 47 percent of people who don’t pay taxes are going to vote for Obama. You know what that means? He’s going to vote for Obama.” – Jay Leno “If you take the 47 percent that Mitt Romney says pay no taxes and add that to the people who Obama says cling […]
Saturday Night Live asks a very important question, and they want answers!
© Ruben Bolling God commanded “Thou shalt not kill”. Four words, each of one syllable. Could he spell it out any clearer?
“Mitt Romney said if he had Mexican parents, he’d have a better shot of winning… But unfortunately Romney was tragically held back by being born of rich white people.” – Conan O’Brien “Mitt Romney was here meeting with the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. He’s looking for a housekeeper for his place in La Jolla.” – […]
“A new poll shows that after the Democratic National Convention, President Obama got a four-point bounce in the polls, which means that’s he’s now only five points behind Bill Clinton.” – Seth Meyers “Obama joked this week that Bill Clinton, who has been campaigning for him, should be appointed to the role of ‘Secretary of […]
As I’m sure all of my readers are aware, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. How is this political? Because the Obama campaign just tweeted “Arrr you in?” with this photo:
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