“A new CNN poll shows that President Obama now has a six-point lead over Mitt Romney. You can tell Romney’s depressed – last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation.” – Jimmy Fallon “Early this morning in Los Angeles police were involved with a high-speed chase with a suspect drawing […]
“Yesterday, Paul Ryan said that he and Mitt Romney won’t reveal their tax plan to the public until after the election. Other politicians couldn’t believe it. They were like, ‘At least do the honorable thing and lie.’” – Jimmy Fallon “Lindsay Lohan tweeted President Obama on the topic of tax cuts. Someone needs to tell […]
“The conventions were so different. The Democrats finally look like a real political party; the Republicans look like a seminar for how to flip real estate for Jesus.” – Bill Maher “The Democratic convention looked like the America I see when I walk down the street. The Republican convention looked like ‘Antiques Roadshow’.” – Bill […]
“Mitt, you just keep demanding that Americans answer the question: are you better off than you were four years ago? But just don’t answer it yourself, cause that would mean releasing more than two years of tax returns.” – Stephen Colbert “Computer hackers claim to have stolen Mitt Romney’s tax returns and are willing to […]
Larry David argues that even if you aren’t better off than you were four years ago, at least you weren’t hit by an asteroid! It is interesting to see how people react to this video. Is Stewart trying to be balanced? Is he making fun of people’s attitudes toward Obama? Are people afraid of criticism […]
“There’s a lot going on tonight. The first NFL game tonight, the Democratic National Convention, a new episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” Everything that we are as a nation is all rolled up into one tonight.” – Jimmy Kimmel “It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge […]
© Ruben Bolling The truth may set you free, but spreading lies still costs lots of money.
“I’m very excited; we have Ron Paul on the show tonight. Unlike the Republicans, we’re actually going to let him speak.” – Jay Leno “That had to be rough for Ron Paul. You run for president, you win a bunch of delegates, and not only is he not allowed to speak but he couldn’t even […]
“If your party can run the nation for eight years, and then have a national convention and not invite Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Colin Powell, Karl Rove, or Tom DeLay, you’re not a political movement. You’re the witness protection program.” – Bill Maher “Congratulations to Mitt Romney on his purchase of the Republican presidential nomination.” – […]
“Tonight is the last night, the final night of the Republican convention. Tonight is the swimsuit competition.” – Conan O’Brien “Have you folks been enjoying the Republican convention? Ann Romney was great. She said it’s all about love. Then Chris Christie followed up by saying, ‘It’s not about love, it’s about respect.’ Will you people […]
© Ted Rall Grover Norquist famously said “I’m not in favor of abolishing the government. I just want to shrink it down to the size where we can drown it in the bathtub.” Will he get his wish?
Taking a break in his campaigning, Mitt Romney was riding in his limousine in the countryside when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. He quickly ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food,” the […]
“Did you all watch the Republican convention last night? It’s good to see scripted television finally making a comeback.” – Jay Leno “The Republican National Convention is in full swing in Tampa. Speeches are being made. Hats flown in the air. Everyone gets their own hippie to slap around.” – Craig Ferguson “Chris Christie gave […]
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