[this is republished from John Breneman’s blog. Thanks John!] It is fiendish, blood-curdling and utterly macabre. It’s ghoulish, creepy and deeply disturbing. The most horrifying haunted house America has ever seen is located smack dab in the middle of Washington, D.C. It is (insert spine-chilling sound effects here) the Haunted House of Representatives. The place […]
“Yesterday at the White House, a woman standing behind the president nearly passed out while Obama was speaking. Obama turned and held her while she got some help. See, that’s under the good coverage of Obamacare – where you’re actually taken care of personally by Obama. That’s the platinum package.” – Jay Leno “They’re still […]
“The White House announced that it is bringing in the best and brightest tech experts to fix the glitches on the Obamacare website, which is a great plan. You know what would have been a better plan? Hiring the best and brightest tech experts to make the Obamacare website in the first place.” – Jimmy […]
“After the shutdown debacle, the tea party’s approval rating is 23 percent. In other words, it’s the first time the tea party has ever been supported by a minority.” – Conan O’Brien “People are saying that Republicans got nothing out of the deal. Not true. They got eight years of Hillary.” – David Letterman “Yesterday […]
“President Obama said the day after the budget deal is made he’s going to concentrate on immigration. He says he’ll start by deporting Ted Cruz.” – Conan O’Brien “After 16 days the government shutdown is over. Right now a devastated Ted Cruz is filibustering a squirrel on the lawn of the Capitol building.” – Jimmy […]
“It’s day 15 of the government shutdown. President Obama said he was hopeful an agreement would be reached tonight. Part of the problem is that Republicans can’t even agree among themselves on what they want. Which means Obama doesn’t know what to tell them they can’t have.” – Jimmy Kimmel “Because of the government shutdown, […]
“Yesterday John Boehner led a group of 20 Republicans to see President Obama. Unfortunately when they got to the White House, the president was still black.” – Bill Maher “People are actually getting very pissed off at this government shutdown. But Republicans say, ‘Remember one thing. We are standing up for an important principle, and […]
© David Horsey If we could convince all the Tea Party zealots into moving to the new Texas Republic, that would be even better!
“Today was day 10 of the government shutdown. At what point do we politely ask Canada to govern us?” – Jimmy Kimmel “Talking to reporters today about the shutdown, John Boehner said, ‘If ands or buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.’ You know, if they’d get off our butts and quit […]
“It’s day nine of the government shutdown. Are you like me? Are you beginning to miss the days when we were ruled by a mad English king?” – David Letterman “They said today that the government shutdown will not interfere with NASA’s next mission to Mars. Isn’t that ironic? We can go to Mars but […]
“Look, you think Obamacare’s a big enough threat to this country that you need to shut down the government over it, fine. Own it. Don’t fart and point at the dog.” – Jon Stewart (on Republicans trying to shift the blame to Obama for the government shutdown despite claiming to be “the party of personal […]
“The rules are I go first, and I refuse to take my turn. And you can’t take yours until I’m done. I know you’re upset, but we’re both at fault here, so let’s negotiate. I agree to take my turn if you agree that I win.” – Stephen Colbert (explaining the GOP shutdown strategy) “Every […]
“Congress this week failed to agree on a budget deal, which led to a government shutdown, the first since 1995. So basically, the government shuts down every time Arsenio (Hall) gets a TV show.” – Seth Meyers “Because of the government shutdown, the U.S. Air Force Academy in Colorado is facing a toilet paper shortage. […]
“This week the Tea Party shut the government down because Obamacare is still a pill they cannot swallow. They cannot face that we are heading towards European-style health coverage, but they have no problem that we have an Italian style government.” – Bill Maher “Happy TGIF – which stands for ‘The Government’s in Foreclosure.’” – […]
“Republicans don’t want to shut the government down, they want to end this stalemate and get back to the important work of crippling the government.” – Stephen Colbert “Last night President Obama had an hour-long meeting with Republicans and Democrats, but they were still unable to end the government shutdown situation. So don’t worry – […]
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