Political Irony

“This weekend in Arkansas, thousands of dead birds dropped out of the sky and there were 100,000 dead fish in the rivers. Also, McDonald’s is having a special on Chicken McNuggets and Filet of Fish.” – Jay Leno

“Apparently this is Arkansas’ version of the New Year’s Eve ball drop.” – Jay Leno

“You know why I think the birds fell out of the sky? Tweeting.” – Jay Leno

“One man claims President Obama wants to give the entire U.S. back to the Indians. That’s terrible. They might build burial mounds on top of our sacred malls.” – Stephen Colbert

“President Obama says he read three books while he was on vacation. Or as Sarah Palin put it, ‘showoff.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“It’s so cold back east, Christine O’Donnell is using her leftover campaign funds to buy a new house in Florida.” – Jay Leno

“Christine O’Donnell is being investigated for using campaign funds to pay for personal expenses. I think it’s a witch hunt.” – Jay Leno

“Snooki is now a published author. I’m blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar.” – David Letterman

“Airports are considering dumping TSA and hiring their own security. You see these TSA guys just standing around with their thumbs up our asses.” – Jay Leno

“The captain of the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier has been relieved of command for appearing in raunchy videos on the ship. They are calling this the most embarrassing video involving Navy personnel since that guy from the Village People.” – Jay Leno

“We have a new governor in California. Former Gov. Jerry Brown replaces Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don’t know if I trust a governor who’s never done steroids.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Congratulations to Elton John and his partner who have a new baby. You remember two years ago when I said the Republicans would take back the House again when we have an Elton John, Jr. Also, congratulations to Ben & Jerry.” – David Letterman

© Jim Morin

Daily Kos has a petition to force Senators who want to filibuster to actually stand up there and filibuster. I figure if they feel strongly enough to filibuster something, the least they can do is stand up there and explain to the American public why they are filibustering.

… before he hits the ground.

© Tom Toles

The new session of Congress doesn’t start until Wednesday, but Republicans have already scheduled a vote on January 12th to repeal Obama’s health care reform bill. Of course, this is a complete waste of time and money, since Democrats still control the Senate, and even if they didn’t, Obama would surely veto any any attempt to repeal health care.

I expect that the Republicans will continue to rattle their sabers at health care reform, including trying to cut off funding for it, until they figure out that most Americans want health care reform.

© Tom Tomorrow