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Invasion of the Body Scanners: why airport security will never work

I’ve been seeing a lot of frustration and anger at the new security measures going into effect in airports (especially from pilots). One issue is the new millimeter ‘backscatter’ x-ray machines. Previously, only your carryon bags were x-rayed, now they are x-raying your entire body. And since these new machines penetrate clothing, but stop at your skin, they show the TSA workers an image of you essentially naked.

If you don’t like the idea of being exposed to dangerous x-rays or being viewed naked, you can opt out, in which case you are given a thorough pat-down, including your genital areas. That goes for children too. Which would you prefer: Having your child subjected to dangerous radiation so they can be viewed naked by a stranger, or having their entire body including genitals felt up by a stranger?

But my real question is, what took everyone so long? I have never understood why people put up with airport security at all. Airport security has never made us any safer.

Airport security checkpoints were originally installed because of airplane hijackings (including quite a few to Cuba). But security never stopped a single hijacking. The main reason hijacking stopped was because we were able to get treaties signed with various countries (including Cuba) that guaranteed they would prosecute hijackers. So hijackers were arrested on landing and typically returned to the US to stand trial. Once that happened, the hijackings stopped, but curiously the checkpoints didn’t. (Interestingly, the other reason hijackings stopped was because we stopped giving so much media attention to them. Unfortunately, we haven’t yet learned the lesson that in order to cause terror, the terrorist wants publicity.)

The problem is, in order for airport security to actually work, it has to be incredibly (almost impossibly) invasive. Even with the new x-ray machines any terrorist wannabe could smuggle weapons at least as dangerous as the ones used during 9/11 onto any airplane. Are we going allow the TSA to perform full body cavity searches of everyone who is going to board a plane? Seriously?

Because the only answer to “how much privacy and rights do you have to give up in order to ensure complete safety” is “every last one of them”. And even that isn’t good enough. In maximum security prisons where people have no rights and full cavity searches are done routinely, criminals manage to smuggle in weapons and other contraband. You think you can stop it at a busy airport?

Even if we could have complete and foolproof airport security (which we cannot), it would not make us any safer. In fact, it would likely make us less safe. Consider the x-ray machines. You might argue that the danger from x-rays is low, but so is the danger from terrorists. So low, in fact, the risk of dying from the x-ray machines is likely greater than the risk from being killed by a terrorist. So at best, we are getting rid of one risk (which we actually are not, since airport security is not foolproof) and substituting an even greater risk. How stupid is that?

And finally, even if we could have completely and foolproof airport security that had absolutely no risks, we would still not be any safer. Because airplanes are not the only place where we are in danger from terrorists. In fact, some people have argued that a terrorist could easily walk into an airport carrying a bomb and detonate it near a crowded airport security checkpoint. This would cause just as much terror, and shut down our air transportation system. And airport security couldn’t stop it.

As we well know, any place where large numbers of people gather could be a potential target for a terrorist bombing. For example, 9/11 killed around 3,000 people, but football stadiums hold tens of thousands of innocent people. There are many cruise ships that hold more people than were killed on 9/11, and those often operate in international waters where they cannot be protected. Even if we made airplanes (and airports) completely terrorist proof, the terrorists aren’t going to just give up. After all, the Oklahoma City bombing was carried out on an entire building, using a bomb hidden in a parked vehicle.

So what am I saying? That we shouldn’t do anything to prevent terrorism? Of course not. Installing reinforced cockpit doors on airplanes already took away the incentive for terrorists to try to pull something like 9/11 again. Not to mention the fact that passengers are now more willing to fight back against terrorists. A group of terrorists could perhaps blow up an airplane, but it would be much more difficult for them to use the airplane like a guided missile to destroy a large building.

What I’m saying is that the money being spent on airport security would be much better spent somewhere else, like investigating terrorists so we can stop them no matter if their plans target airplanes, government buildings, water supplies, or whatever. Even Forbes magazine says that we should abolish the TSA.

Isn’t this something we can all agree on? Right now, the only group benefiting from airport security are the companies who manufacture the x-ray machines, and the only winners in the war on terror are the terrorists, who would have us quaking in our boots, except we had to take those off in order to go through security.

UPDATE: Penn Jillette strikes back, in 2002.

UPDATE2: Someone worked out the math. Assuming that the TSA installs the new machines in every airport, then your chances of dying from a fatal cancer from one of these machines is 16 times more likely than your chance of dying onboard an airplane due to a terrorist attack. And in addition, the new machines do not detect PETN, the very explosive the underwear bomber was trying to use. However, the existing puffer machines do detect PETN. So why do we need the new expensive machines?

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Final conclusions from the election

Gin and Tacos has a fantastic rant about the overwhelming mandate delivered by the American people in the recent election. Yes, other pundits have attributed lots of other meanings to the election, but I think we can all agree that they have no idea what they are talking about. Ed humbly submits the following as the true meaning:

The 2010 midterm elections were a mandate for the new GOP sorta-but-not-really majority in Washington. The American voter has clearly demanded:

1. Social Security reform that guarantees my current level of benefits, alters someone else’s, and cuts everyone’s Social Security taxes to boot.

2. A world-class national infrastructure that can be built and maintained without tax dollars.

3. A balanced budget that doesn’t sacrifice any of the government programs – especially the sacred military-industrial complex and the various old age benefits – that we like.

4. Clean air without pollution controls, clean water with a neutered and underfunded EPA, and businesses that do socially responsible things without any regulation whatsoever.

5. Consumer goods at Made in China prices that create high-paying jobs in America.

6. Giant trucks and SUVs that drive like Formula One race cars, look cool, fit into small parking spaces, cost under $18,000, and get the fuel economy of a Toyota Prius.

7. Complete freedom and complete security at the same time.

8. An America that acts like a swaggering, sociopathic asshole on the global stage yet is beloved by all the nations of the world.

9. Wars against every enemy, real or imagined, all of the time, with no U.S. casualties and no effect on the budget.

10. Incredibly rich and rewarding professional lives while supporting our employers’ right to do whatever they want to us without recourse.

11. A vibrant, consumption-based U.S. economy with good jobs for anyone willing to look for one resulting from free trade policies that encourage money and capital flows to cheap labor markets.

12. A highly educated workforce produced by a school system that requires no tax dollars to achieve excellence, students who have no interest in learning, and a virulently anti-intellectual society.

13. Closed borders and an endless supply of cheap labor to keep prices low.

14. To buy whatever we want irrespective of what we can afford while maintaining the drumbeat of personal responsibility.

15. Health care that is cheap, superior, and readily available to me without the danger of the same being enjoyed by anyone I deem undeserving.

It couldn’t be any clearer: we want a government that will resolve every problem we currently face with solutions that require no effort, no sacrifices, and no money. And I have no doubt that we have elected a group of people brave enough to promise exactly that.

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We knew it would come to this

John Shimkus, Republican Congressman from Illinois, is currently on the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, which is responsible for energy policy, environmental initiatives, and public health. But now that control of the House is being turned over to Republicans, Shimkus is trying to become chairman of the powerful committee.

What makes this ironic is that during a committee hearing in 2009 he dismissed the dangers of climate change, not because of “climategate” or any belief that climate change wasn’t real, or even that it isn’t man-made. No, Shimkus based his arguments on God’s promise to Noah after the flood in Genesis 8:21-22:

Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though all inclinations of his heart are evil from childhood and never again will I destroy all living creatures as I have done. As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, will never cease.” I believe that’s the infallible word of God, and that’s the way it’s going to be for his creation.

But wait, he presents more evidence, from Matthew 24:31:

And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds from one end of the heavens to the other. The Earth will end only when God declares it’s time to be over. Man will not destroy this Earth. This Earth will not be destroyed by a Flood.” I do believe that God’s word is infallible, unchanging, perfect.

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Negative campaigns will get worse as long as they keep working


© Lee Judge

If we keep voting for people whose only policy proposal is to attack their opponents, then we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

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Late Night Political Humor

“I finally read former President Bush’s memoir, and I’ve got to say, the book was way better than the presidency.” – Jimmy Fallon

“George W. Bush says he is glad to be out of the Oval Office because he doesn’t have to think all the time. And I’m thinking wait a minute, that was him thinking all the time? Really?” – David Letterman

“George W. Bush was signing copies of his new memoir ‘Decision Points’ at a Borders Bookstore yesterday. Did you hear about that? Yeah, when he saw the bookstore, he was like, ‘I heard about these places, but I never believed they were real.’ I’m not even wearing special glasses. This is great.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“JetBlue is appointing retired Gen. Stanley McChrystal to its board of directors. That’s who I want looking for my missing luggage — the guy who’s been trying to find bin Laden for 10 years.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Twenty-thousand Indonesians protested President Obama’s visit to Indonesia. Apparently, 3 out of 4 Indonesians believe he’s an American.” – Conan O’Brien

“President Obama is still out of the country but he’s keeping in contact with Vice President Joe Biden to find out when it’s safe to come back home.” – Jay Leno

“The Pentagon says it doesn’t know who is responsible for launching a missile off the California coast on Monday. Meanwhile, Sasha and Malia can’t believe the awesome new video game they just found in the White House.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Nancy Pelosi is throwing a party to celebrate her time as speaker of the House. If you would like to get her a gift, she’s registered at Bed, Bath and Don’t Blame Me.” – Jay Leno

“I’m not sure what kind of a party it will be, but I think we can rule out a tea party.” –Jay Leno

“I don’t know if you guys saw this, but Bristol Palin made it to the semifinals of “Dancing with the Stars” last night. I’m not saying Bristol is going to win, but if there’s one thing she’s known for, it’s going all the way. So I would put my money, put it all on Bristol Palin.” – Jimmy Fallon

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Money and Ethics in Politics


© Matt Bors

And just this week, a Congressional leader told the head of a foreign government that he would side with the foreign country against the US president. Where are the screams of treason at this unprecedented undermining of US policy?

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Bottom Line?

Bloomberg implicitly asks the obvious question: Investors say that president Obama is bad for the bottom line; if so, then why are US corporations on track for the biggest earnings growth in 22 years, and the stock market is going like gangbusters again?

68% of US investors say that Obama’s policies are detrimental to the US investment climate, and they aren’t even willing to give Obama credit to turning around the economic collapse. And 67% of them want to see a Republican win the 2012 presidential election.

As Bill Maher put it, are they upset “because President Chocolate Jesus did not make it rain twenties in two years”?

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Late Night Political Humor

“President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He’s going to keep traveling until he finds his birth certificate.” – David Letterman

“President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money.” – Jay Leno

“A company in China is selling a President Obama blow-up sex doll. Don’t get too excited. It turns out most of its positions are very unpopular.” – Jimmy Fallon

“President Obama is in Indonesia. I guess he won a trip on ‘Wheel of Fortune.'” – Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama was in Indonesia today, and he spent a lot of his childhood there. It was like Dick Cheney going back to visit the Death Star.” – Craig Ferguson

“Obama actually spent part of his childhood in Indonesia. He was known as Barry Obama then. They’ve been digging up childhood friends. One said he was chubby and ran like a duck. Which proves he’s not Kenyan, because that’s as American as it gets.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“President Barack Obama used to be known as ‘Barry.’ Barry doesn’t sound like a president, it sounds like a guy that gets drunk and throws up in the fish tank.” –Craig Ferguson

“Republicans were complaining about the cost of Obama’s trip, and that he was staying at the Taj Mahal. It turns out he was actually staying at the Taj Mahal Express, by the airport.” – Jay Leno

“Obama says India is one of our most important trading partners. We give them our jobs and they give us . . . Wait, what do we get?” – Jay Leno

“The president’s trip was cut short due to volcanic ash. That’s the second time his plans have been disrupted by ash. The last time was when the Democrats went down in flames.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama said he spends a lot of time thinking about bringing back the eight million jobs we lost. And in his new book, George Bush says he spends a lot of time thinking about bringing back the show ‘Wings.'” – Jimmy Fallon

“‘Decision Points’ by George W. Bush has dropped, and it’s like ‘War & Peace’ without the peace. Here’s the very first page: ‘In the last year of my presidency I began to seriously consider writing my memoirs.’ Right away he’s got you hooked. Did he write them or didn’t he? You won’t know until you read the book. Maybe the rest of the pages are blank. If there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that we can’t believe something is there just because Bush says it is.” – Stephen Colbert

“George W. Bush’s memoir is out today. And the guy is apparently quite candid, quite honest in the memoir. It’s a big, big book. The problem is because of his economic policies nobody can afford to buy the book.” – David Letterman

“Former president George Bush has a new book out called ‘Decision Points.’ He’s quite candid in this book. He talked about how he and Dick Cheney often clashed because of their different style. For example, Bush liked to shoot from the hip, whereas Cheney liked to shoot people in the face. Two different ways of coming at things.” – Jay Leno

“In the book Bush says that he lost respect for John McCain when he selected Sarah Palin as his running mate. This guy whose running mate shot a buddy in the face.” – David Letterman

“George W. Bush was interviewed by Matt Lauer who asked him if he would still invade Iraq if he knew then what he knows now. It’s an unfair question. For one thing I don’t know if Bush does know what he knows now.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Former President Bush was on ‘Oprah.’ It was Oprah’s annual ‘Least Favorite Things’ episode.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Former President George W. Bush was on ‘Oprah.’ When asked about being the leader of the free world, Oprah said, ‘It’s not bad.'” – Conan O’Brien

“But the guy, the president, he is still quick. Still very athletic. You know, he’s a former cheerleader. I believe he is our only president who was a cheerleader. He proved today at a book signing that he can still duck a shoe.” – David Letterman

“Republicans fresh off their victory on Election Day say their first priority will be to dismantle the new health care law. And believe me, there’s nothing people without a job love more than less health care.” – Jay Leno

“Oh, and did you know this is fraud awareness week? Fraud awareness week comes the week after the election when people realize the person they elected is a huge fraud.” – Jay Leno

“We’ll start with the shocking events on ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ Once again, Bristol Palin, despite the fact again she had the lowest score, lives to dance another week and instead quarterback Kurt Warner becomes the latest moose to find himself in the Palin cross hairs. Who knew Bristol Palin was the most popular person on television.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“What if Bristol Palin wins ‘Dancing with the Stars?’ How afraid can America be of her mother? She can’t dance. She’s not a star. The only part of the show that applies to her is the ‘with the.’ I wouldn’t have believed that a dancing competition could make me question whether I really live in a democracy or not.” – Jimmy Kimmel

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Rememorizing


© Mr. Fish

Apparently, a significant number of Bush’s “original” recollections found in his new memoir were plagiarized — often word for word — from other people’s books and articles.

UPDATE: I also feel this way about seeing Bush on TV again.

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Security Theater

In The Atlantic, Jeffrey Goldberg has an excellent article from 2008 about how surprisingly easy it is to circumvent airport security. Or as he puts it “Airport security in America is a sham — “security theater” designed to make travelers feel better.”

Just to see if it could be done, he carried on various dangerous items, including pocketknives, pocket tools, lengths of rope, cigarette lighters, and (of course) box cutters. To show how easy it is to carry liquids onto a flight, he used a “beer belly” — a bladder on a sling with a drinking tube sold to enable people sneak alcohol into football games — to smuggle two cans’ worth of Bud Light onto a flight. And just for fun, he also carried on a three-by-four-foot Hezbollah flag (featuring an upraised fist holding an AK-47), matches from hotels in Beirut and Peshawar, an “Osama Bin Laden, Hero of Islam” T-shirt, and even an inflatable Yasir Arafat doll. Goldberg discusses how easy it is to print fake boarding passes and use them to fly, even if you are on the TSA no-fly list. He also deliberately tried to act suspicious, in order to test the TSA’s program that is supposed to spot terrorists from their behavior.

The article reminded me of my own experiences with airport security. Like the time I thought I had lost my pocket knife, but it turns out that it was in an outside pocket of my carry-on bag and it (unknown to me) accompanied me through airport security on several domestic and international flights before anyone noticed it. But my favorite time was when I walked off a flight from Havana Cuba to Miami (yes, I was in Cuba legally) and because there was less than an hour before my next flight, the airline had me carry on my normally checked bag, which contained, in addition to my pocket knife, some tools, various liquids, and (of course) a bunch of illegal cigars. I was even subjected to a hand search of my bag at the gate, and they didn’t notice a thing. Remember that I had just left a country that is on the “Axis of Evil” list.

Bottom line? post 9/11 airport security is a stunning waste of time and (lots of) money. The TSA has never stopped an actual terrorist from boarding a flight. The airport security measures that make flying such a pain are pretty much there just for show.

Feel safer?

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I’ll tell you where you can put it…


© Bruce Beattie

Inspired by a campaign in Britain that saw Tony Blair’s autobiography show up in the crime, horror, and even fantasy sections of UK bookstores, US activists have launched a campaign to have people move George W. Bush’s new autobiography to its “rightful place” — the crime section — and then take a photo of the book after it has been “correctly reshelved”.

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Late Night Political Humor

“Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, ‘memoir’ is just a fancy word for ‘a bunch of stuff that happened to me.'” – Craig Ferguson

“In his new book, George W. Bush says he’s happy to be out of Washington. Well, it’s unanimous.” – David Letterman

“Bush’s memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles.” – Craig Ferguson

“In the middle of the book is an Iraq maze which is pretty much impossible to get out of.” – Craig Ferguson

“Well George W. Bush is on the big book tour this week. During an interview with USA Today, Bush said that he was, ‘blindsided by the financial crisis.’ Bush said he was also blindsided by the fact that he knew the word blindsided.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Former President George W. Bush has written his memoir. It’s called Decision Points. I’ve already decided not to read it. … He’ll be everywhere promoting the book. He’s on the ‘Today Show.’ Going to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and tomorrow he’ll be on the Rachael Ray Show, waterboarding the veal cutlets.” – David Letterman

“No sir, I’m not going to read it until he reads it.” – David Letterman

“President Bush told Matt Lauer the most embarrassing thing he ever did drunk was ask a friend of his parents what sex was like after 50. That’s nothing. John McCain asked Sarah Palin to be his running mate when he was sober.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama is in India. You know what they say — go where the jobs are.” – Jay Leno

“President Obama was in India today. The President is touring Asia making trade deals. He signed a $10 billion pack with India this afternoon. He brokered a deal to make India part of the UN security council. And he was able to get a $15 late fee reversed on his Visa card.” – Jimmy Kimmel

“Obama’s in India for two days and Republicans are already accusing him of being a Hindu.” – Jay Leno

“Hillary Clinton says she will not run again for President. Your move, Brett Favre.” – David Letterman

“When Hillary says she’s not running, is she really not running? Or just pulling a Leno?” – David Letterman

“Nancy Pelosi, who lost her position as Speaker of the House says she will seek to become the House Minority Leader. And really who better qualified to be House Minority Leader than the person who led their party to become a minority in the first place.” – Jay Leno

“Isn’t fall in New York City great? The colors are brown, gold, and orange. And that’s just John Boehner’s face.” – David Letterman

“MSNBC news anchor Keith Olbermann will be back to work on Wednesday after being suspended without pay for giving campaign contributions to Democratic candidates, which is against the rules at MSNBC. See, if only he had done like Eliot Spitzer and given his money to hookers, he would have gotten his own prime time show on CNN.” – Jay Leno

“Hundreds of people in Washington, D.C. reported seeing a UFO today. Aliens, if you’re searching for intelligent life, you’ve got the wrong town.” – Craig Ferguson

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Pre-Existing Conditions


© Jack Ohman

Do the Republicans really think they can repeal the Health Care Reform bill?

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Late Night Political Humor

“I do not understand the electorate. This country is hurting in a way we haven’t since the Depression. People struggling all over this country, and they came out and voted for the party that says right up front they will suspend your unemployment benefits and repeal health care. To go against your self-interest more you’d have to literally go f*ck yourself.” – Bill Maher

“A special shout-out to the independent geniuses, who switched sides again because President Chocolate Jesus did not make it rain twenties in two years.” – Bill Maher

“You know what, you independents, if you can vote for Bush one year, and then the next election vote for Obama, and then go back to John Boehner, you’re not independents, you’re schizophrenic. You’re Norman Bates, sometimes you dress up as your mom and kill sluts in the shower, and sometimes you put on pants and mop up. Well, congratulations America, on Tuesday you put on the dress and killed again.” – Bill Maher

“How about those elections? Here’s how it breaks down now. We have a Republican House. We have a Democratic Senate. And we have a President with veto power. Smooth sailing, right? No problems there.” – David Letterman

“America put the crazy people who got us into this mess back in charge, and California won’t let us get high to get over it.” – Bill Maher

“This was the biggest landslide since the ’30s. The Republicans picked up 63 seats. I haven’t seen the Republicans so happy about taking seats since they made Rosa Parks stand up.” – Bill Maher

“Here’s how huge their victory was. They actually elected two black people on the Republican side in Congress, and seven gay Republicans. Of course, you won’t find out who they are until they get caught in a rest stop somewhere.” – Bill Maher

“Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.” – Jay Leno

“Did you see the new speaker of the House John Boeher cry? He cries a lot. Mr. Boehner you’ve got to stop crying. For one, your tan is going to run. And what’s he going to do if he loses next time? Put on a Bjork record and cut himself?” – Bill Maher

“You know who Boehner is, right? He’s that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity.” – Jay Leno

“And Boehner, very serious about cutting back on spending. I saw him day, touching up his tan with an orange sharpie.” – Jay Leno

“Just in time for the Republican sweep, George Bush has a new memoir that just came out. He was on the Today Show plugging it. He said his lowest moment of the whole presidency was when Kanye West said he didn’t care about black people. Well, I got news for you. Black people don’t care about you either. Mr. Bush.” – Bill Maher

“Levi Johnston said in an interview that Sarah Palin is not qualified to be President. And, believe me, if there’s anyone who knows about not being qualified for something it is Levi Johnston.” – Jay Leno

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Why Bush waited until after the election to release his memoirs?

What could be worse than the revelation that Bush personally approved waterboarding, which we ourselves called torture when the Japanese used it in WWII. Bush justified using torture because he claims it saved lives by producing actionable intelligence. However, the former chairman of British intelligence disputes this, saying that waterboarding, which is definitely torture, did not produce any information that prevented any terrorist attacks, and that Bush was simply trying to “justify what he did to the world.”

Interestingly, even though Obama refuses to investigate Bush for torture, at least one of the new Republican congressmen says he would have “no hesitation whatsoever” in holding hearings about Bush’s use of torture.

But if that weren’t bad enough, Bush’s newly published memoirs reveal the hypocrisy of Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell. Back in 2006, McConnell asked for a private meeting with Bush where he asked the president to reduce the number of troops in Iraq in order to improve the Republican party’s chances in the upcoming midterm election.

It is a surprise to virtually nobody that the Republicans played politics with the Iraq war, so why is this news? Well, the very same month that McConnell was privately asking the president to make troop reductions for political gain, he issued a blistering statement attacking the Democrats for … calling for troop reductions in Iraq.

The Democrat leadership finally agrees on something — unfortunately it’s retreat. Whether they call it ‘redeployment’ or ‘phased withdrawal,’ the effect is the same: We would leave Americans more vulnerable and Iraqis at the mercy of al-Qaeda, a terrorist group whose aim — toward Iraqis and Americans — is clear.

In other words, McConnell is admitting that he is willing to put American lives at risk in exchange for political gain.

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