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The Palin Principle

Sarah Palin quotes from 23/6 and About.com.

Channeling Yoda:

But not for me personally were those cheers for.

Trying for a Dubya / Quayle hybrid:

Sitting here in these chairs that I’m going to be proposing but in working with these governors who again on the front lines are forced to and it’s our privileged obligation to find solutions to the challenges facing our own states every day being held accountable, not being just one of many just casting votes or voting present every once in a while, we don’t get away with that.

Celebrating national backwards day (when the first amendment protects the government from the people, rather than the other way around):

If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.

Geography goof-ups:

They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan.

Dictator in chief:

I’m the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t.

Finally, Sarah Palin gave a press conference yesterday, which answers the burning question of why she was not allowed to give one during the campaign. Highlights:

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RePUGlicans

Cute dogs (and cats) and gratuitous breasts. Who could ask for anything more?

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Late Night Political Humor

“I thought this was kind of cute. Senator Barack Obama, President-elect Barack Obama and his wife went on their first date since the election. They actually went on a date, they went out and had dinner. And it is weird, though, when you think about it, don’t you, to have a Democrat in the White House who actually dates his own wife?” -David Letterman

“As you know, President-elect Obama promised his daughters a puppy if they move to the White House. And he’s already getting advice on what the best breed of dog to get. For example, today, President Clinton told him the Oval Office is a great place for a husky female.” -Jay Leno

“Barack Obama attended a parent-teacher conference at his daughters’ school the other day. And a very positive meeting. The teacher said, both the girls already reading at a President Bush level.” -Jay Leno

“Historic day at the White House. Earlier today at the White House, you probably saw this, President Bush had a private meeting, in the Oval Office, with President-elect Barack Obama. Ten afterwards, Obama met with Dick Cheney to see how things really work.” -Conan O’Brien

“But I thought this was nice. While Bush met with Obama, Vice President Cheney took Joe Biden waterboarding.” -David Letterman

“Today was another historic day. President Bush took President-elect Barack Obama on a tour of the White House. At one point, Barack opened a closet. Bush said, ‘Oh, don’t open that,’ and a huge stack of unread intelligence memos fell out.” –Jay Leno

“And then today, the big transition process begins, because earlier today, Barack Obama met with President Bush at the White House. So you had the president-elect and the president-inept, so they were there together.” -David Letterman

“I don’t know anything about politics, but as soon as Barack Obama shook hands with President Bush, Obama’s ratings went down 10 points.” -David Letterman

“Hey, did you see this on the news? In the country of Sierra Leone, six out of ten male newborns at the Freetown main hospital were named Barack Obama. Six out of ten! Even more amazing: at least 23 babies born in North Carolina last year [were] named John Edwards, Jr. How about that?” -Jay Leno

“This is true, according to a new report, I was reading this today in the paper, thousands of pregnant mothers in this country are planning to name their baby Barack. That’s true. Yeah, after hearing this, Sarah Palin told Bristol, ‘Don’t even think about it.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Everybody seems to be ganging up on Sarah Palin lately. Have you noticed that? Oh, boy. Now, when she goes hunting, the moose return fire. That’s how bad it’s gotten.” -Jay Leno

“Well, Sarah Palin continuing to speak out. She said she now knows Africa is not a country. She also knows that, with the campaign over, she’s looking forward to a nice, relaxing vacation in the nation of Hawaii.” -Jay Leno

“Well, according to a new post-election survey, people want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012. That’s what it says. It says she’s been getting thousands of calls from people pleading with her to run, all Democrats.” -Jay Leno

“I don’t know if you saw this on TV this weekend. Commentator Joe Scarborough said the ‘F’ word on MSNBC. Of course, at MSNBC, the ‘F’ word is Fox News.” -Conan O’Brien

“Of course, lots of sour news about the economy. The federal government has announced that due to the bad economy, it is going to have to lay off 40,000 postal workers. Yeah, 40,000 disgruntled postal workers. What could possibly go wrong?” -Conan O’Brien

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Obama Inaugural Seating Chart


© Tom Toles

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Bank Bailout my butt!


© Bill Schorr

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The madness of governing from the left


© Matt Bors

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Do the Democrats even have a brand?

I wrote in here a few days ago that the Republican brand is based on three big lies, but in fairness we should talk about the Democratic brand too. Unfortunately, all I can say is that the Republican brand may be in the toilet, but at least they have a brand.

I tried to figure out what the Democratic brand is, but the best I could come up with is “we aren’t the Republicans” or perhaps the popular Democratic phrase “big tent” (which I suppose means “we’ll take anyone, who isn’t Republican”).  Look at the Democrats’ big slogan during the election — “Change”. Change from what? Why the Republicans of course.

So why is being the opposite of the Republican party a problem for the Democrats? Because it means that the Democrats are allowing the Republicans to define their brand. In the previous post I defined the three big lies that make up the Republican brand. If the Democratic brand is just the opposite, then this is what they get:

  • If the Republicans are the party of fiscal conservatives and smaller government, then this leaves the Democrats with being the “tax and spend” and “big government” party. See what I mean?
  • And if the Republicans are the party of social conservatives and religious fundamentalists, are the Democrats left with being the sacrilegious wanton libertine party?
  • Finally, if the Republicans are pro-business and for free markets, then it only follows that the Democrats are socialists. Sound familiar?

One of the successful tactics used by the Republicans is to attack opponents on their strengths. So if Obama attracts big crowds, call him a celebrity. Or if Kerry is a war hero, then swift-boat him by attacking his military service. Democrats should return the favor and attack the Republicans on their (claimed) strengths:

  • When Republicans claim to be pro-business, point out that they only support the dinosaurs of the business world: big oil, failing banks, and so on. The Dems should brand themselves as being the party of innovation, new ideas and new businesses.
  • When the Republican try to own moral issues, the Dems should be the party of social justice, while painting the Republicans as judgmental (it wouldn’t hurt to point out that it was Jesus who preached against judging others).
  • When Republicans claim to be fiscal conservatives, attack them on their spendthrift ways and irresponsibility, and become the party of balanced budgets and fiscal responsibility.

The Democrats need to figure out their brand, and right now — while the Republicans are trying to salvage theirs — is a great time to do it.

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Late Night Political Humor

“The effects of the Barack Obama election win are still reverberating throughout the country. A lot of pride in the African-American community. Have you noticed that? And listen to the latest rumor. You hear about this? … Michael Jackson now considering going back to being a black guy.” -Jay Leno

“People are excited all over the world. In Kenya, true story, thousands of expectant mothers are planning to name their babies after Barack Obama. That’s true. Yeah. The Kenyans are really glad Obama won, because in Swahili, ‘John McCain’ means ‘your goat just ate my daughter.'” -Conan O’Brien

“I feel bad for John McCain. I guess that endorsement from Dick Cheney came a little too late.” -David Letterman

“And this is sad, you hate hearing about this, but staffers are saying that John McCain is depressed. And I think there is something true to the story, because I heard today that he had made an appointment with Joe the therapist.” -David Letterman

“Been a lot of stories from Germany about how America has come to terms with its past and is beginning to make up for it. Now look. I know our country is not perfect, but we do a pretty good job working out our problems. Do we need a lecture from Germany? When they elect a Jewish chancellor, give me a call. Okay?” -Jay Leno

“Americans have finally got beyond our racial past, and picked a black man to clean up our mess.” -Bill Maher

“The stock market had its worst week in a long time, and that’s saying something considering recent history. Not only that, the stores are reporting their worst earnings in the last eight years, unemployment is at a 14-year high, car companies apparently are headed toward extinction. Today in Times Square, the stock ticker just said, ‘What the f**k are you looking at?'” -Bill Maher

“And yet, with all these problems, somehow bigotry won out here, even in liberal California. We voted to outlaw gay marriage. … But I have to stand with the gays on this. Gay people, I think, have every right to insist that they will not be happy until they’re allowed to be miserable.” -Bill Maher

“We found out that the Mormons are the ones that financed this thing against Prop 8. They spent $20 million on Prop 8, because they say that marriage should be between a man and his multiple child brides.” –Bill Maher

“Did you see Obama’s news conference today? Wow. I have to say, nice to see adults back in charge of government. The White House press corps, you could tell, they were ecstatic. It’s been years since they’ve heard a complete sentence.” -Bill Maher

“Obama held his first news conference today as president-elect. Some veteran White House reporters were actually a little bit confused, because he didn’t make up any words and almost everything he said made sense.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Today, at his first press conference as President-elect, Barack Obama said America will succeed if we can put aside partisanship and politics. Nice. Yeah, in other words, we’re totally screwed.” -Conan O’Brien

“This was actually in the paper today, that both parties are already preparing for 2012. Isn’t that unbelievable? But I was thinking, it’s going to be tough for Barack Obama to come up with a campaign slogan for 2012. I mean, what’s it gonna be? ‘Don’t change, everything’s fine, don’t change anything, keep it exactly the same!'” -Jay Leno

“Of course, everybody now is speculating what the future of the GOP will be. GOP now stands for, of course, ‘Ganging up on Palin.'” -Jay Leno

“The rumor is the GOP is blaming Sarah Palin for losing the election. But to be fair, Sarah Palin didn’t pick Sarah Palin. Isn’t that right?” -Jay Leno

“A reporter from Fox News who interviewed Sarah Palin said that Sarah Palin didn’t know that Africa was a continent. To which President Bush said, ‘I didn’t know either. I thought it was a vowel.'” -Jay Leno

“It was revealed that Dick Cheney, whom we haven’t seen much this week, spent Election Day in South Dakota, shooting peasants, I mean, pheasants.” -Jay Leno

“And in other election news, Massachusetts voted to decriminalize marijuana, it won by 65% of the vote, which is amazing. Well, that is huge. It’s really big when you consider, most marijuana supporters don’t even show up at the polls until next Tuesday.” -Jay Leno

“And up in San Francisco, the proposition to decriminalize prostitution was defeated. It was defeated. Well, there are many who believe that prostitution should be legalized, because then it could be controlled and taxed. It could be taxed. You know who’s against this? Hookers making over $250,000 a year.” -Jay Leno

“Actually, according to the papers today, the economy is hurting prostitutes. They say the prostitutes working the brothels in Nevada are having a hard time making enough money to pay their mortgages. Yeah, business is way down. Which is kind of sad. I mean, you hate to see these women just out walking the streets, you know?” -Jay Leno

“And according to a federal report, unemployment claims went up by 300,000. And that’s just Republicans in Washington.” -Jay Leno

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Helen Thomas returns to give Obama hell!

From fishbowlLA.

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She really is the gift that keeps on giving

I know, I know, everyone (outside the die-hard right) is tired of Sarah Palin. But I just can’t resist this. Even though Palin stayed as far away as she could from the media during the campaign, ironically she is now BFF with the press since the election ended. But she still doesn’t seem to have a firm grasp on reality, as Keith Olbermann points out:

UPDATE: Palin gave an actual press conference Thursday in Miami. Here are highlights. I guess we know now why she didn’t give one during the campaign:

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Self-evident


© Tom Toles

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Bailout Bimbos


© Jess Danziger

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Lost


© Steve Breen

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The Three Big Lies Underlying the Republican Brand

The “Big Lie” is a propaganda technique defined (by Adolf Hitler no less) as a lie so colossal that no one can believe that someone “could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously”. The principal of the big lie (defined by Joseph Goebbels) is that if one needs to “lie, one should lie big, and stick to it.” Furthermore, in the face of conflicting information you must keep repeating the lie, “even at the risk of looking ridiculous.”

A recent (and very clear) example of a big lie occurred after the Alaska State Legislature’s Troopergate report concluded that Governor Sarah Palin had violated state ethics laws and abused her power. Palin’s response was to claim straight-faced:

Well, I’m very very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … Any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that.

As The Anchorage Daily News reported:

Palin’s response is the kind of political “big lie” that George Orwell warned against. War is peace. Black is white. Up is down.

Palin repeated this lie several times on the campaign trail, even after it was widely reported as false.

Politicians (in general, not just Republicans) have used the Big Lie technique for so long that it is difficult for them to stop, even though the advent of the Web and YouTube make it easy to expose these lies. They even start to believe their own lies.

Eventually, even politicians will stop lying about simple facts (Troopergate, Clinton’s Bosnia Trip, etc.), but the Big Lie will still be used in situations where the lie cannot be easily dismissed. For example, McCain claimed repeatedly during his campaign that he would balance the federal budget by the end of his first term, repeating it even after the economic meltdown. Although this is basically impossible, it cannot be dismissed as a lie since it is about the future.

Which brings us to the whole point of this post. Between the economic meltdown, war, and the disastrous election, the “Republican brand is so bad right now that if it were a dog food, they’d take it off the shelf.” The (remaining) Republicans are now busily trying to figure out what to do about it — some want to move more toward the center while others want to double down and become even more conservative (divided roughly by whether one thinks that Sarah Palin helped the Republican party or hurt it).

But these discussions are meaningless unless the Republicans understand the fundamental reasons why their “brand” is so far in the toilet that even Joe the Plumber couldn’t reach it. Fundamentally, there are three main components of the Republican brand, and all three of them are lies. Big lies.

  • Lie #1 (and most easily disproved) is that Republicans are the party of fiscal conservatives and smaller government. Around 20 years ago something killed off the “GOP deficit hawks” to the point where, starting with Ronald Reagan, all Republican presidents have run up record national deficits. Dubya’s spending has gone through the roof, and not just because of his two wars and the creation of the huge new Homeland Security Department. He also added expensive Medicare prescription drug benefits, a mission to Mars, and other new spending. The only thing Republicans still do is cut taxes, which is just pandering.
  • Lie #2 is that Republicans are the party of social conservatives and religious fundamentalists. But despite talking big about banning abortion and gay marriage, the Republicans have done little to actually promote the causes that social conservatives hold dear. The problem here is that the Republicans have become addicted to using issues like abortion to mobilize their base. If the Republicans actually succeeded in making abortion totally illegal there would be a huge backlash, which would then mobilize the Democratic liberal base against them. Also note that the Bush administration used their power over judicial appointments and federal prosecutors to pursue political ends, not the ends desired by social conservatives. In short, the Republican party is using social conservatives.
  • Lie #3 is that Republicans are the party of big business and free markets. But after eight years of deregulating business after business, just to have each of them collapse in turn (ending with the worst economic meltdown since the great depression) it is clear that Republican policies are not good for business, not even big business. If the Republicans actually believed in free markets, they wouldn’t have prohibited the government from negotiating Medicare drug prices. And they certainly wouldn’t have responded to the financial meltdown by nationalizing the biggest banks and insurance companies.

    Regulation is not the opposite of free markets. The purpose of good regulation is to level the playing field, and thus create a free market with open competition (rather than a closed market where only big established players with government connections can compete). By favoring their cronies (such as big oil) the Republicans helped kill competition from new energy sources and new modes of transportation, but we now see that this has done more harm than good to Detroit automakers and big oil companies, not to mention hurting other businesses as energy prices soared.

Like a company whose reputation for good products has been tarnished by a series of unreliable ones, the Republicans will have to restore some believability to their brand by actually delivering on their promises. The important question is not whether the Republicans should move toward the center or more toward the right. The real question is when will they start walking their talk and building up some trust in their brand.

Or they can just keep lying, even at the risk of looking ridiculous.

UPDATE: David Brooks has an interesting column in the NY Times that argues that the Republican Party cannot help but move to the right (and lose more elections), at least in the near future.

UPDATE 2: Frank Rich has a very enjoyable column in the NY Times about how the conservative crackup may be ugly, but as entertainment, it’s two thumbs up!

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Scarborough should fire himself

Former GOP Congressman and now cable TV commentator Joe Scarborough has a long history of fighting against obscene words on TV.

  • In 2003, Scarborough was incensed that the FCC refused to impose fines on ABC when Bono used “the F word” during a live broadcast of the Golden Globe Awards. Scarborough even claimed that because of his proper upbringing he didn’t use such words.
  • In 2006, Scarborough hosted a show that attacked Barbra Streisand for using the F word when speaking about President Bush.
  • Most famously Scarborough led the charge against the infamous 2004 Super Bowl Janet Jackson halftime show, insisting that the FCC chairman Michael Powell hit CBS with massive fines or be fired. “But I have got to say, that’s the problem, not just being exposed to Janet Jackson, but being exposed to the F-bomb several times from rock stars at award shows, from actresses at award shows. Unbelievable.”

So you probably can guess where this is going. This morning Joe Scarborough said “fuck you” on TV when talking about Obama’s appointment of Rahm Emanuel as Chief of Staff:

The funniest thing about it is that he didn’t seem to realize that he had actually said it until the other people on the show started tittering and blushing.

From Glenn Greenwald.

UPDATE:

© Michael Ramirez

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