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Late Night Political Humor

“The newest nominee for the Supreme Court, Sonia Sotomayor, broke her ankle at LaGuardia Airport. Broke it in three places. And listen to this, at least two of those breaks have to be approved by the Senate.” –David Letterman

“This morning, Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor fell and broke her ankle at LaGuardia airport. Yeah, if she’s confirmed, the first case she’ll hear is Sotomayor v. LaGuardia airport.” – Conan O’Brien

“She broke it right out there at LaGuardia Airport, stumbled on a thing and busted her leg, very painful. But fortunately, Rush Limbaugh’s maid was right there at the gate with a little. ‘Here, try a little…'” – David Letterman

“And then, Rush said he hopes her ankle doesn’t heal.” – David Letterman

“Boy, this is a weird story. Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor is at LaGuardia and she breaks her ankle. This happened, like, two days ago. And in a 5-to-4 ruling, the current justices have voted to send her a get well card.” – David Letterman

“Yesterday, Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor fell and broke her ankle, and she’s expected to be on crutches for several weeks. In a related story, Republicans have announced that Sotomayor’s confirmation hearing will consist of three questions and a timed obstacle course.” – Conan O’Brien

“You know who was in town this weekend, went to a Yankee game? Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska. And she was up there with Rudy Giuliani. They were sitting together. And their seats were, well, let me tell you where their seats were. They were way, way in far right field. They were so far right. Crazy.” – David Letterman

“Sarah Palin got there early and she was taken to her seat, shown to her seat, by Joe the Usher.” – David Letterman

“While she was at the Yankee game, Sarah Palin managed to spend $150,000 on hats and t-shirts.” – David Letterman

“One awkward moment, though, during the game. Maybe you heard about it, maybe you saw it on one of the highlight reels, one awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game. During the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.” – David Letterman

“But Sarah Palin — it was exciting, because everybody loves New York City and she spent the entire weekend here in New York City. And late yesterday afternoon, as a matter of fact, she actually pulled out her rifle, and she shot that thing on Donald Trump’s head..” – David Letterman

“Hillary Clinton’s in the news. Yesterday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton sent a stern warning to North Korea to stop their belligerent actions. Her exact quote was ‘Don’t make me get all Hillary on your ass.'” – Conan O’Brien

“Big night for Angela Lansbury. She won a record fifth Tony Award. And she was named acting president of General Motors. Did you know that?” – David Letterman

“Big news in Saudi Arabia. For the first time in 30 years, Saudis are allowed to go to the movies this weekend. It’s really good. Yeah. Give it up. There’s a few movies to choose from. You can see ‘Turban Cowboy,’ ‘The Taking of Hostages 1,2,3,’ ‘He’s Just Not That Into You Driving,’ or Tyler Perry’s ‘Madea Goes To Jail For Showing Her Ankles.'” – Jimmy Fallon


One Comment

  1. Letterman is a deranged slob- and his tired 1985 schtick’s about as funny as a train wreck. I say give Todd Palin five minutes alone with this creep- maybe then he’d get the hard education in moral clarity that he so obviously lacks.

    And if Sarah Palin is SO silly and irrelevant, why the obsession?

    Clearly the Left noted her appeal, and are out to eliminate the threat- it’s not like it’s not obvious. She’s been highly successful in life while ignoring the left-wing feminist model… this helps to explain the extra dose of venom in the attacks.

    Go get em, Sarah- and don’t mind the press, nobody will be listening to them anymore after the pending Obamamania implosion-

    Sunday, June 14, 2009 at 2:35 pm | Permalink

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  1. […] ire is still being thrown at David Letterman for an off-color joke he made earlier this month about Sarah Palin and her daughter. Watch the video […]