“According to WikiLeaks, the airing of American TV shows in the Middle East is helping to stop Islamic extremism. Would-be terrorists watch our reality shows and realize they’ve already won.” – Conan O’Brien
“WikiLeaks supporters have hacked into Sarah Palin’s credit card information after she criticized Julian Assange. Sarah said she’s very upset, and hopes all suspicious charges to her account can be refundiated.” – Jimmy Fallon
“After hacking into Visa and MasterCard yesterday, WikiLeaks supporters now want to take down Amazon.com. After they do it, Amazon will suggest a list of similar sites they might also enjoy hacking.” – Jimmy Fallon
“Supporters of WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange have been targeting Sarah Palin’s accounts. They figured out her password, which was ‘Palin2012.’ They got it on the first guess.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“Thousands of people turned out to see President Obama’s Christmas tree lighting. I knew it would be beautiful. I watched it a couple days ago on WikiLeaks.” – Craig Ferguson
“Do you know that President Obama is into re-gifting? In fact, he just gave the Republicans the tax cuts he inherited from President Bush.” – Jay Leno
“Maroon 5 played at the tree lighting. They were a big deal a couple years ago. Sort of like President Obama.” – Craig Ferguson
“Apparently the president couldn’t decide whether to put white Christmas lights or red and green Christmas lights up. Why not just ask the Republicans? They’ll tell you what to do.” – Craig Ferguson
“Nigeria has issued an arrest warrant for Dick Cheney. Good luck serving that this time of year. Cheney’s up in Whoville, stealing Christmas.” – Jay Leno
“Because it’s the holiday travel season and everyone is on edge, when the TSA agents have their hands in your pants, don’t be surprised if they leave a candy cane.” –David Letterman
“The Palins and the Gosselins are going camping together on ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska.’ I think they’ll get lost in the woods and have to eat one of the Gosselin kids.” – Jimmy Kimmel
“The Chinese government is very upset that a dissident is receiving the Nobel Peace Prize. They said that any countries attending the ceremonies will be insulting China. This could be the first war started by a peace prize.” – Jimmy Kimmel
